An “Assumptive Name Privilege” is taken any time you assume that you know, definitively, what someone wants to be called.
Meanwhile you haven’t been told, nor have you asked.
It occurs when you turn a Katherine into a “Kathy” or “Kat”
Perhaps a Robert into a “Rob” “Robbie” or “R to the O to the B to the E to the R to the T”
And morphing a Richard into a “Dick” is just asking for trouble!
This is a classic “damned if you do, damned if you don’t”
Because if I call Katherine “Kat” but she prefers Katherine, I just went all informal on Katherine and struck out.
If I go all formal and meanwhile she’s “Miss Casual ‘Kat’” then I just struck out.
Oh and thanks to several creative folks who like to trip up the world, what if she pronounces it “Kathereeeeeeeen” or something. Then I really strike out.
Actually I put that one on her . . . tripping me up like that! As if I don’t have enough things to make me look like an idiot.
So what’s an aspiring rock star to do?
First and foremost, you must never make an assumption. Doing so makes an ass of u and mption. To that end . . .
1) If you’re calling a prospect, consider calling their direct line during off hours. Hopefully you get their voice mail and it clears it all up.
2) When you receive an email from someone, take a minute to scroll down and see how they sign off. This works brilliantly with social networking invites too by the way.
3) Ask . . . But Take Ownership Of The Awkwardness. If you feel funny asking what someone prefers to be called, put it on you. Example “Forgive me if this is a silly question, but your name is important to me. Do you prefer to be called Deborah?” Now if they respond with “What? How the hell do you assume ‘Deborah’ when my name is Thomas?” either run away really fast or learn to fake a heart attack.
You need to do your part too!
Make sure you make it easy for others to call you by your preferred name by . . .
Signing off that way on emails, invites etc
Using that name on your voice mail
Consider your nick name in quotes on your business card, social networking profile etc.
Dale Carnegie once said that “the sweetest sound, in any language is the sound of one’s own name”
It’s always that much sweeter when we get it right
So please allow me to practice what I preach by signing off with my preferred name . . .
“P to the A to the U to the L” or simply
“The Artist Formerly Known As ‘Uncle Paul’”
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