I started following someone’s blog recently and about a week or so ago they decided to write about this other blogger and publicly voice their opinion about something the blogger wrote. They were a tad sarcastic and I found it to be pushing the limits of good taste but to each their own. Right?
A few days ago they didn’t like something someone else did. This time it involved someone who spammed his Facebook page. He decided to write a post about it, calling out the spammer (by name). Yep, they wasted a blog post, just to make someone else feel like an ass. In his defense, spammers piss me off too but a spammers stupidity isn’t worth my online reputation. More about that in a moment.
Every so often, on Linkedin, an online “bird fest” will brew. Someone didn’t like someone else’s opinion so they publicly insult the other party. I’ve even seen these things get brought over to one of the “bird wielders” blogs so they can get the backing of their homies. In one case, the bloggers followers took the other dude’s side. I guess birds of a feather don’t always flock together!
Ah, flashbacks of Middle School!
So it is in that spirit that I thought some “Bird Etiquette” might be in order
1) When you’re online, as in life, keep the main thing, the main thing. Now if being a jackass is in fact your main thing, then by all means carry on. Seriously, don’t ever let anyone force you to compromise the incredible brand called YOU!
2) If you decide to release “The Online Bird”, understand that you aren’t exactly communicating in the cone of silence! Most of this stuff can be found online. Yep, it’s as if the virtual world has found a way to commemorate your dickiness. Try explaining that one to a prospect that Googled you.
3) Don’t ever use your blog or any online venue to offer a “Return Fire Bird”. I think its rather insulting to your audience that you would think they were that stupid in finding value in that. Additionally, it dilutes the heck out of your brand and deters from the “main thing”
4) 
When you are the recipient of an “Online Bird” please understand that you are allowed to step back and take a deep breath. Might be a good time to “put the bird down” and step away from the computer. Life has a way of helping us see things differently after we take a chill.
5) Keep the bird in its cage. Ignoring someone is highly underrated! Suggestion, make a voodoo doll in their likeness and stick a pin in their rear, but do it offline.
6) “Clip the Bird’s Wings” with a simple “thank you for your perspective” How does a bird fly in the presence of that? They can’t even say “bite me”. It doesn’t work.
7) Understand when your ego has put your side of the conversation on cruise control. Pride has ruined many a personal brand. Don’t ever forget that.
8) The “Accidental Bird”: Truth be told, sometimes we give the bird and we don’t even realize it. I see this when people publicly comment that someone misspelled a word or worse yet when the grammatical Gestapo get their panties in a bunch. Perhaps that would be best communicated in an offline email dude.
So have fun with this stuff and by all means express your opinions. Just be careful of the real message you’re sending to an audience that can and will judge you!
Note: No birds were harmed in the creation of today’s blog post.
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Paul,
Interesting post. It seems like some people say things online that they would never say in person. It’s the age old problem of forgetting to engage the brain before you engage the key strokes.
Another problem seems to be, too many people are thin skinned. They cannot and will not accept any critisim. My mom always taught me, sticks and stones, may break my bones. But, words can never harm me.
Darwin
Hilarious topic Paul….but well put nonetheless. I guess I’ll be keeping all my bird-fests to a minimum now
….keep up the great, original work.
“Ah, flashbacks of Middle School!” Well said, sir.
The internet gives everyone a false sense of security. Sure, you can flame, flip off, and flag scads of people…but does that support the brand that is you?
I like how you mention having a prospect Google you, only to find out that you’re calling someone an idiot because he disagreed with you. It reminds me of that Point/Counterpoint skit with Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin that used to play on the old Saturday Night Live. Remember that? Jane would say something, and Dan would retort with, “Jane, you ignorant slut.” It was funny because you would NEVER hear that on the news. We professionals shouldn’t hear it on the internet either.
A great lesson for character and integrity development.
As always, Paul is powerful with his observations and advice.
Great post, Pablo. As a younger man, I seldom missed an opportunity to tell those who had a differing viewpoint about the mistletoe on my coattail. The vantage point of years tells me of the wisdom you purvey. I love reading your work.
Hi Paul – we can always count on you to tell it like it is, and you’re 100% correct, too many “birds” flying around the internets these days, people just do not realize how this can affect them in the long run. A friend of mine is very fond of saying “most adults are just kids with long legs”. Maturity is not a function of age, rather it’s a choice. Thanks as always for a great post!
“put the bird down” and step away from the computer. Love it! I look forward to reading your work and appreciate you sharing your wisdom with us. While many things should be common sense it is obvious they are not, or you would not have anything to write about. Keep the lessons coming.
I recall a poster in the QC department of a former employer near the desk of an employee who was apt to fly of the handle: Tact: The art of making a point with out making an enemy. Great post as always.
Great article Paul! Of course, these recommendations also apply to the daily email exchange between colleagues and clients. As we all know, it is virtually impossible to interpret sarcasm and sometimes humour in an email (especially from someone we don’t know that well). It is also all too easy to ‘react’ to such a note (likely on your blackberry while you’re in the middle of a million other tasks) with a snappy response. These are the notes that people keep, print and share (bad news is more fun to share than good news, right??), and which almost always bite you in the butt down the line.
@ Darwin: Very true! The fact the communication is in written form can certainly feed the problem. The “thinned skinned” part of your comment is noted and we’ve all been guilty of that one at one point or another.
@ Marcus: I would be shocked if I ever found you smack dab in the middle of a bird fest my friend. You are a gentleman and one heck of a blogger!
@ Andy: I was thinking about the first part of your comment with regard to the internet giving us a false sense of security. Things we say online we would never say to someone up close and personal, probably because someone might knock us through a wall. We all take on the persona of a “7 foot giant” online and that might be part of the problem. And thanks for the cool SNL reference. Classic!
@ Pam: Thank you for that! Very nice of you indeed!
@ Hank: Please know that I am borrowing that “Mistletoe on my coattail” line. Brilliant!
@ Craig: Great point. Maturity certainly is a choice. Well stated!
@ Toni: Don’t forget that many of the things I write about are things I learned the hard way. We’re all works in progress!
@ Herb: Tact . . . what a wonderful word! Thanks buddy!
@ Ian: You make several important (and awesome) points. I’ll stick with one: Responding to our interpretation of a bad email while we’re in the middle of a kazillion things. The speed in which we communicate these days can certainly influence the quality (good or bad) of the communication.
Thank you all for taking the time out your busy day to contribute!
Respectfully,
Paul Castain
Paul,
Hats off to you for tackling, with such humor and perspective, this very important subject! Dealing with people, the public, in virtual reality has removed the “person” from the page and caused many to ‘forget their manners’!
Thank you for such pithy advice, too!
I love the “thank you for your perspective” line, Priceless.
Trish
As usual Paul, strong advice that I will share with my network. Email’s and comments can reveal emotional intelligence yet your post is a fine example of how to strike a balance when making a strong point. There was no personal attack yet wings are subtly clipped.
I shall remember to breathe and encourage others to do the same. Remember the three N’s. Nuture, nurture, nurture. Thanks.