As many of you know, I’m open to sharing my thoughts both personal and business.
I’ve shared my story of how I lost everything back in 1995, I’ve written about my Dad’s last Christmas and I even shared it with you when my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer (now cured).
There was one thing that I chose not to share with you because I needed to sort it out and do some soul searching so here goes . . .
I was approached by a major publisher last summer to write a book. As you can imagine, I was quite excited until the woman who approached me flaked on me.
She didn’t flake after seeing a manuscript so I can’t translate that into a “actually its because you suck as a writer” type of moment . . . she just flaked and went MIA after the initial “we’d like you to write a book” discussion.
Something odd happened next . . . I was at peace with it!
That actually bothered me . . . I know, being bothered with being at peace, so I decided to do some soul searching (almost a year’s worth to be precise)
At first I thought I was scared. As many of you know, it was me being scared and admitting it in a classroom back in 2008 that made me face my fears and launch this blog.
After lots of reflection it comes down to a few really significant things. Pardon me while I get brutally honest.
My Personal Life Needs Some Attention
My oldest is about to start college and I’m totally enjoying being home between trips and soaking in every moment. He needs to come first and I’m cool with that. Actually . . . I’m really quite excited about it!
There are some “Paul” things that I want to fix, specifically my weight. I’m not ready to get going on that piece yet, but when I do, I want total focus.
I Want To Grow Castain Training Systems First
My business is doing extremely well but its like a little baby in need of a lot of care.
I have a major launch on this website in the next 2-3 weeks and then have a new product launching every month for the next several months.
I have major plans to scale the business in the next 18 months.
Quite selfishly . . . I want to enjoy the climb and the journey and not have to rush off and write or go off on a book tour.
And now the hardest part to admit . . .
I’m Just Not Excited About Writing A Book!
Truth be told, I’m passionate about this blog, my training business and all those I am fortunate enough to serve but I’m just not feeling it . . . and that’s a really good thing!
Try forcing yourself to do something you’re not feeling and I’ll guarantee you that you’ll create a piece of sh*t!
I don’t know about you but I resent reading crap or worse yet, something that lacks that certain . . . “I put every ounce of my soul into this”.
You know what folks, I wake up every morning and I can’t to get to work. I can’t wait to serve my clients. I can’t wait to work on the new products I’m launching.
I sit down at night to write this blog and I can’t wait to write it but . . .
I do all this stuff with passion or I don’t do it!
If I’m going to have to pull some of my focus away from my family, Castain Training Systems or this blog . . . I need to be totally into it!
So what once began as a “Face your fears” move back in 2008 has evolved into a “don’t you dare do something that you aren’t passionate about” conviction!
Maybe this soon to be 47 year old finally grew up!
I’ve been advised that postponing my book will hurt my business and I will lose opportunities (and higher speaking fees)
But that’s OK . . . I have the balls to do this on my terms and my timetable.
I’d rather chase my passion and worry about the paycheck later.
And besides, nobody’s saying “never” here . . .
I just have a little more reinventing of me to do first!
Meanwhile, I hope you’ll travel the distance with me . . . I sure could use some company!