Many years ago I watched a great Jedi Master wow his customers, go to bat for them and provide a wonderful living for his family. He knew the names of all his customer’s secretaries (this was before the birth of admins) and he took a personal interest in each of their lives. He knew kids names, birthdays, anniversaries, hobbies and genuinely cared. He had fun in the process and had a smile that could light up a room.
He taught me my first lesson in sales way back in the 80’s which was simply “All sales is problem solving” He also taught me that if we can’t laugh during our day (especially at ourselves) we needed to find a more suitable livelihood.
I watched him practice diligently for his reading at Sunday mass and help countless unemployed people in the parishes throughout Long Island. A big part of the reason for doing this was because that was just who he was. There was another reason .. . He never forgot what it was like when he was unemployed and felt honored to give back.
I believe that every human being comes to the cross roads in their life at least once. For me it came in the form of self doubt, shyness and a feeling that I wasn’t deserving of success. Sound familiar? I hadn’t a clue what I would do with my life. Neither did he; but he pushed me nonetheless. There were times where I pushed back, said some disrespectful things among them . . . “Are you suggesting I become a salesman like you?
He was relentless and won.
And one day I decided to become a salesman like my Father! Boy did that plan work out well 
It was on this day in 1988, that our time together was cut way too short but what happened next summarizes who my Father really was.
At my Dad’s wake, there was a man waiting patiently to talk with us. I didn’t recognize him but extended my hand to introduce myself. He almost seemed apologetic for stopping by and maybe he thought he didn’t belong with us. He told me he was the janitor in my Dad’s office building for over 20 years. With tears in his eyes he told me that my Dad would always stop to talk with him, knew his kid’s names, always asked about his family and made him feel like somebody.
That, ladies and gentlemen was how Des Castain rolled when he wasn’t conquering the world!
Newsday gave him a third of a page obituary. I believe the headline summed up who he really was for it didn’t say star salesman, conqueror of his chunk of the world it read . . . “Champion Of The Unemployed”.
That was Dad’s final lesson to me. Give something back!
In the end, its not just about our accomplishments that leave the legacy . . . its how we choose to contribute! Maybe if we are lucky enough, we can touch a few lives in the process!
Today’s post is about encouraging others, showing genuine interest in the things that are important to those around you, remembering to thank those who encourage you, giving something back and quite selfishly it was about my Father!
For you Dad!
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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
You, my dear baby brother, have provided an amazing example of our Dad. I still see Dad, in my mind’s eye, and his love continues in each of us. Paul, I am so in awe of you and the threads of the story of Dad, that you’ve woven into the story of you!
I love you like a brother!
Your sister, Judy
Rock horns to you!!! My brother from another mother! You’re the best! Thanks for bringing tears to my eyes and reminding me of another valuable lesson all in one fell swoop! You rock!
~Keri
Nice story Paul.
We’re doing the same thing in our church with helping the unemployed and I feel we’re not doing enough due to limited attendance at our sessions but I believe we can help more than we have been so appreciate the inspiration.
Bill Morgan
What a wonderful story Paul and so well written. You had a great role model and inspriration for not only sales but your life.
Thanks for sharing.
Paul, you never fail to impress me with your posts and writing. Keep on rocking Master Jedi!
This is a great story. What makes it even better is that it’s a true one. It also exemplifies exactly what I try to impart to others, including my own children, and ultimately remind myself of daily. It’s about what you give back, not what you get. You’re father is obviously a member of a great tradition of men and women who do great things just by being themselves. Thanks for brightening the day, by sharing your story!
Paul – thank you so much for reminding me of my own father and the legacy he left to me and my sister. He sold insurance for many years and didn’t have an enemy in the world. What an example he was!
As a little kid, I wanted to grow up to be just like my dad. Later, I wanted nothing less.
Now, of course, I wish I was a whole lot more like him, and that he’d been around the last 25 years for me to learn from.
Your father taught a great lesson, and not just to his kids. Thanks so much for sharing it.
Great post, Paul!
And I do think that taking a genuine interest in people (regardless of rank or role) is a key step towards success. So when my time comes, I hope I have impacted at least a couple in the slightest way!
That was very touching Paul. This shows a whole other side of you that is truly warming inside. Keep up the great work and thanks for sharing.
Paul, with a role model like your Dad, you can’t fail.
It’s not wonder you are as giving as you are.
Thanks for being an inspiration to all of us.
Paul,
I’m genuinely touched. Your Dad was, and through you continues to be a great role model – for Sales & for Life. There’s no doubt that he’d be proud of the work you’re doing. Keep it up!
I have to say “ditto” to the posts above, Paul. I have become accustomed to looking forward to what you’ll have to say because you share the wisdom you’ve gained in the Real World. Today, I appreciate more than ever that my salesman Dad (insurance sales for 40 years) is still alive at 80. He’s been retired since ‘93, and it’s still second nature for him to reach out to people. I’ll have great memories when that time comes, just as you do. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Paul, your story really touched me. I have come to know that we really never lose our loved ones to death. They live on through us. We are a legacy of everything they have taught us and shared with us. We share that legacy in every experience we have and with everyone we meet for the rest of our lives. We are who we are because of having known them.
-Bill
There was a bit of an inner civil war raging inside of me this morning as I debated as to whether or not to publish this post. I even had a completely different one written on a completely different topic.
Your warm, kind and caring comments has validated that decision and quite frankly lifted my spirits!
Much appreciation and gratitude!
Paul Castain
Thank you Paul for yet another inspiring post. It is said the apple don’t fall far from the tree and you are living proof. Thank you for again for sharing a piece of yourself, I am certainly the richer for reading your posts.
What a great testimony to your father. What an encouragement to all of us to go out and live the kind of life that would have this type of an impact on others. We should all be so well regarded as to have “a janitor” at our funeral bless our family in this way.
Paul, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. It’s easy to see where your gift of encouragement comes from. May your father’s legacy continue for generations.
De tal palo, tal astilla!
@ Shawn: Actually I was hurting for ratings so I made up the story. Just kidding. Thank you for your kind words
@ Jeff: I appreciate that comment and hope I have a “Janitor” or two at my funeral. Here’s to creating that life now!
@ Mary Beth: Thank you my friend.
@ Juan: I admit that I am a bit rusty with Columbian expressions and had translated your comment initially as you calling my mother a goat. Upon second look (and all joking aside) proudly, my Father and I are in fact very much alike . . . particularly in humor and our obligation to give back. Also in hairlines . . . thank for that too Dad!
Just awesome.
You were blessed to have such a wonderful dad and amazing reflection of God.
As always Paul, another great example of what we all should be striving to achieve.
This is one my favorite post I have read it several times
The true measure of a man is how he treats those from whom he has nothing to gain.
Paul Castain! Thank you for obviously following in your dad’s footprints. He will never die as long as you are alive! You are truly blessed to have had a father like him! And I am blessed by having you remind me of these valuable things in life……….hey, isn’t that what it is truly all about? You are the best and we all thank you – so much! Your kids and associates will say the same things of you!
Best regards,
Anita
Uncle Paulie,
Thanks again for the personal touch. Wish I had met your dad sounds like a great guy.
Having been out of work twice in my 50’s I know how hard it can be. I collect job postings for openings in the Rochester, NY area and will share with any who care to hook up. Working in a quick print I catch many folks working on their resume’s and share all my current postings. I make it a point to ask folks how their businesses are doing and if they are looking for help. My way of keeping the grass roots fertilized.
I can’t begin to thank you all for your warm comments!
I was in “Wuss Mode” the other day and was feeling particularly down which as you all know is not representative of the Paul Castain brand.
I do believe there is a lesson in everything. I believe my biggest lesson was to stop searching for meaning and simply find the lesson.
His lessons still resonate and I’m am grateful for having shared a brief space of time with him.
Before I forget . . . My oldest son had a glimpse of the picture in this blog and said “Grandpa Des looked like a badass gangster”
In his own way, he certainly was!
Thank you all once again for your kind comments!
Uncle Paul,
A fine and fitting tribute to your Dad.
Thank you being both secure and vulnerable. You enrich your readers’ lives by sharing yourself.
Character (Gk. dokime) describes one who has been tested, and has passed the test. For your Dad, the character tests of compassion & humanity. Passed with flying colours.
May you continue to pass your life’s tests with grace and aplomb.