The Linkedin Invite . . . You Lost Me At Hello!

by Paul Castain on April 18, 2012

There are 5 major mistakes that people make with regard to Linkedin invites.

Mistake #1 When you use that God awful template. I hate that template! It is by far the most anti social, social networking tool on Linkedin!

Here’s how it reads . . .

“I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn”

So here we are, supposedly trying to make a cool first impression and yet we use something that’s about as lazy as going over to someone and grunting!

Not a real memorable way to say hello!

Mistake #2 Happens when we decide to ignore the invite because someone basically doesn’t know how to say hello properly.

Mistake #3 Happens when we don’t respond to the invite and yet we accept it.

Time Out! Don’t you dare use the other person’s lack of a “proper hello” as your excuse not to return fire with a proper hello . . . You’re better than that!

Mistake #4: Calling someone a “friend”. I know, I feel like a real d*ck writing that but it’s a mistake. When you go to invite someone on Linkedin, it asks you how you know someone. When it does, please don’t select friend if you don’t even know the person. People really get put off by that which brings us to our final mistake . . .

Mistake #5: Getting put off because someone called you a “friend”. I turned over a new leaf on this one about two years. Prior to that, I was one of those who would get offended if you called me a “friend” when we didn’t know each other. My awaking came one day when I realized that I have been called far worse than “friend”. I invite you to get over it too!

You know, first impressions still count for something when it comes to beginning what we all hope will be a wonderful courtship.

Let’s make a note today to do our best to be more “social” on the sending and receiving end of our invites!

If you found value in today’s blog post, you might want to check out my 90 page social networking playbook. Come have a look and read what others are saying about it here or click on the handy dandy banner for my E-Book below.

  • http://www.linkedin.com/in/smksensei Sean Michael Kelly

    Paul, I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.
    Your besty,
    SMK

  • Jon

    I get truely annoyed when I open an infite to see if I even know this person to get only an image of a person (no photo) and no information about who they are or what they do – At that point they are history – At least take the time to tell the world who you are and what you do for a living. I do not need to be friends with a plumber (no offense to plumbers) who lives 100 miles away and whom I will newver meet or need in my lifetime.
    I take these invites as frompeople who just like to collect names.
    DELETE
    Have a nice day.
    Jon

  • Dudilignce

    I keep a library of invite and responses, depending on who they are… all I have to do is gut and paste

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    Good idea . . . Do you personalize each one?

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    Thanks Jon.

    I think they give the impression of not being serious about forming a relationship if they can’t be bothered to fill out their profile and include a pic.

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    :)

  • Jeff

    How timely is your post Paul…this morning I received the generic invite to connect with someone in California ( I live in Columbus now) that I have no idea who they are!  I accepted but do I really want to connect with total strangers?  What am I missing?  BTW, no picture on their profile page as we;;/

  • http://www.welcome.in/ Ted Walraven

    Hi Paul (and co-readers) 

    my reply to ‘friend’ invites usually is: 

    Hi (name)

    Thanks
    for your invite to connect. You’ve indicated that we are friends, well …. not
    as yet, but let’s start developing the friendship. I’ll begin by accepting your
    invite. ;-) And a question: how can I help you in Amsterdam, the Netherlands or
    Europe (depending on the origin of the sender) to expand your network or
    business. Please let me know…. (and friends who don’t have taken the trouble to add their picture or have a crappy LI page I don’t respond to). And I always personalize sending requests, even try to relate to the city there in (because of my business of course).Have a great day allTed

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    “Thanks for your invite to connect. You’ve indicated that we are friends, well …. not
    as yet, but let’s start developing the friendship. I’ll begin by accepting your
    invite. ;-) ” . . . I love this Ted! 
    Well done and something I need to start doing!

    Thank you!

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    I think its a matter of preference Jeff. My preference is to connect with strangers.

    I can connect with people I know anywhere but this is an opportunity to expand my reach and harness the power of who they know.

    I have several clients today as a result of this philosophy.

    It doesn’t make my approach THE right way . . . it just means it fits my overall philosophies and business objectives.

    Thanks!

  • http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=34489883&trk=tab_pro Traci Walters

    Just the other day I received an invite from someone who I had never heard of, who used the template, and who indicated I was a friend. I was….perplexed. Not so much anymore though. Thanks for the guidance, Paul. Oh, and Ted! :)

  • http://labizseller.com/ Peter Lopez-L.A. BizSeller

    Thanks Bro-Chacho. I have to admit, I am guilty of not following up with the folks I connect with…

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    Back at cha broseph!

    I think we all could use a little polish in this business of connecting!

    Thanks Peter . . . you are appreciated my friend!

  • http://www.saleskitchen.com/ Mike Cooer

    I too am ok connecting with strangers but when they say I’m a colleague, they now have become lying strangers.  As sales pros, we know never to lie. We don’t lie about our products, our company, the competition or our customers. We don’t lie on the golf course and we should not lie anywhere, even on LinkedIn. Really? I’m not your colleague and never was. Ignored.

    Surely, we’re in a group together; maybe even a group with over 29,500 members…

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    Believe me I’ve been there Traci, and I’ve really struggled with this.

    We’ll figure this out one day . . . just in time for the next wave of technology to challenge us :)

    Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts . . . I really appreciate it!

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    I used to think that way to think that way but then someone pointed out to me that Linkedin only gives you a few options.

    My feeling is this Mike, they aren’t doing it for the sake of lying. Of all the things to lie about, there really isn’t a big pay off in telling someone you’re a colleague!

    I think its more about people not knowing how to use this stuff.

    My humble penny’s worth :)

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts Mike . . . I always appreciate your contributions!

  • Brian

    Paul, Would you mind sharing some good invite samples?  I think its a fine line on sounding salesy and giving a business reason on why you should connect. 

    Thanks!

  • http://www.saleskitchen.com/ Mike Cooer

    OK ~ I’ve learned something new today. If the dude has less than 50 connections, he’s a LinkedIn rookie. Accepted.

    But if the dude has 500+ connections…

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    Point well taken Mike!

    I’m here to tell you that there are even people with thousands of connections and calling themselves “linkedin experts” that are missing this.

    I do see your point.

    Perhaps LinkedIn should require us all to take an online equivalent of a drivers test before allowing us to interact on their platform.

    As I write this I find myself saying “Maybe they really should”

    Thanks again Mike!

  • Ed Pasby

    Hi Paul.  You truly are a rock star.  Great topic.  I like to point out my connection (however large or small) in my invite…”Paul, you and I met back when you were with Acme Giant Anvils”.  I have developed several great connections and opportunities using this approach. 

  • Kkeane1069

    Hey Bro Paul, when I get one of those annoyingly templated (and empty feeling Linked In invites,) I accept, but then I reply: 

    Hi Paul !

     

    Thanks so much for the Linked In connection request, I
    appreciate it!

     

    If you are also on Facebook, you might want to consider friending
    me there as well.

     

    I use my personal Facebook page as well as our 632 member
    “IAPHC, The Graphic Professionals Resource Network” Facebook Group
    page to relentlessly promote the truth that print is a powerful partner in the
    media mixology, and while I am a heavy user of Linked In, Facebook as it steams
    towards 1 billion users, is much easier to use for a mini-blogging content
    curator like me!

     

    Warm regards and thanks again!

     

    Kevin Keane

    http://www.facebook.com/kevin.p.keane

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    Thanks for sharing your fantastic approach Ed!

    Cheers!

  • http://www.saleskitchen.com/ Mike Cooer

    I did get an invite from a dude that said he was a friend. Hadn’t heard of his company and there was no photo. My reply: “Tim, thanks for the invite but please remind me where we met.”
    His response, “Mike, we are in the choir together at church!”
    Doh

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    That’s classic Mike!

    An all caps LOL my friend!

  • Cherie Moore

     Thanks Paul for another exceptional article on social netiquette.  Great advice and common courtesy tips in networking and building business relationships. I think a little discernment is good also in knowing which invitations to connect with.  Is it my industry, a beneficial connection etc… Most all are accepted here, I love networking. 
    Thanks again, and Have an Awesome Day!

  • Anonymous

    I know. Why do people still use that horrible template? Great responses from the peeps.

    Thanks,

    Lisa

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    You and I need to start a group for “Linkedin Template Haters” I won’t rest until we all unite Lisa!

    Thanks for stopping by Lisa . . . I always appreciate it!

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    Totally agree Cherie!

    Thank you!

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    Hey if you’re “friends” why not?

    I like the way you think Kevin!

    Rock on!

  • http://www.linkedin.com/in/markmillerca Mark Miller

    Great tips, as always. Yeah, I get put off too but I’m trying to get over it. I am sure I have had my share of bloopers on LinkedIn. I am still learning the proper etiquette but I try to use common sense.

  • Anonymous

    Paul,

    I appreciate the article on LinkedIn. 

    Rather than simply pointing out what people are doing wrong, how about an article instructing your readers on what would constitute doing it right?

    I too get annoyed at some of the requests I get, but have found that by using their poor attempt at connecting as an opportunity to teach I gain advocates and occasionally clients.

    I have seldom had occasions where pointing out mistakes of others has done that for me.

    I enjoy reading your blog and look forward to what comes next.

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    Thanks for the suggestion . . . I’ve already written several of those types of blog posts (21 Ways To Master Linkedin, 50 Totally Random Social Networking Tips etc) and thought I’d bring things down a different road.

    Thanks again!

  • http://yoursalesplaybook.com paulcastain

    We all have Mark!

    I couldn’t begin to tell you how many mistakes I’ve made over the last few years but little by little I’m trying to get there!

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  • http://be.linkedin.com/pub/charles-henri-gaukema/a/5b/249 Charly

    Thank you Paul from my far far away Belgium ! I have changed my way of prompting connection since a while and now I do respond prior to accept when I receive an invitation.
    The devils sits in the details, one says… 
    So please go on Paul !

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