Paul Castain's Blog

Being True To "You"

Posted January 12, 2012

I was channel surfing the other day and just happened to catch Emma Stone’s acceptance speech at the People’s Choice Awards.

She said something along the lines that its important that we are true to ourselves and that she would not be there accepting that award if she hadn’t made that decision 8 years earlier.

I had a bit of a flashback when she said that.

I worked with a real group of snobs many years ago.

The owner of the company told me that I had to tone down my “New Yawk” accent.

It really bothered me and I guess I gave the bastard permission to get under my skin.

Then it occurred to me one day that I had been a dedicated student of self improvement for years.

I had a willingness to change and improve things about myself that I felt needed polish but not that one.

Because it was Me!

It was (and still is) who I am!

Sometimes we give others permission to change us or force us to question things about ourselves.

Sometimes those crazy little things can also be defined as our “Charm”.

Since then I learned to celebrate the many things that make Paul Castain,  Paul Castain and do my very best to remain true to that person and not what other people want him to be.

How about you . . . Are you perfectly cool with being uniquely YOU?

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  • Adam

    Paul this post brings up a great point. In my opinion not everyone is going to whole hardheartedly like me and vice versa. But the people that do like me, I want them to like the REAL me, not some fake persona made up to impress them or live up to their expectations of what is good.

    “Fake” people are a personal pet peeve of mine and Id rather make a decision about someone based on their true self as well, not them trying to be how they think I want them to be.

    To the REAL Paul Castain, great post!

    • Thank you Adam and imagine that people accepting us for who we actually are rather than some fake wanna be version.

  • Daniella

    Paul thanks for the post. It is great that you remind everyone out there that there is a fine line between “Self Improvement” and “Self Confidence”. People need to learn how to understand the difference. Only then, can they celebrate their individuality without apologies.

    • So true Daniella and your point about  “celebrate their individuality without apologies” is what this all needs to be about. 

      Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts! 

  • Beth Schecher

    Great post Paul.  Having recently moved back to New Yawk, I have had to figure out how much of the Long Island ‘tone’ I wanted to take on and how much just wasn’t me any more.  This year is now all about being ‘me’ and knowing that I will attract those that appreciate not just what I have to offer, but how I deliver it.
    Feels great being who you are!
    Great hearing from you everyday.  Many thanks,
    Beth

    • “Feels great being who you are!” Well said and it sure does Beth!
      Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

  • Debbie

    Not “perfectly cool” yet but working on it — thanks for sharing you.

    I hope you have a nice weekend; being you!
    Debbie

    • We’ll get there Debbie!

      Thank you for stopping by my friend!

  • Anita Barrett

     “It really bothered me and I guess I gave the bastard permission to get under my skin.”
    This is what bothers me about me.  And Paul, there is no guess about it……..we LET, Give Permission, ACCEPT, INVITE, allow, etc. etc.  others to dictate how we feel IF WE AREN’T ON GUARD with it!  Keep Dancing my  Rock Star Friend!  Anita

  • Fugged-aboud-it Pauly! 
    I am definitely me and for better or worse I’ve done it my way for most of my life.There have been a few times where “friends” have told me that sometimes we have to “do what we have to do”Nope, if there’s anything I’ve learned is that we need to respect ourselves first. This empowering action is way more important in the long run than selling out or accepting someone else’s idea or opinion of who or what we need to do or be.

    • That’s why you’re my bro chocho Peter!

      Well played my friend!

  • Roger

    Paul thank you for your wisdom this Friday the 13th. It is rewarding to listen to you. Keep the faith.

    • Thank YOU Roger and TGIF to you my friend!

  • Dean

    I’ve spent many years and many dollars on books, tapes, videos and seminars to “improve” myself all to little success. I should have just listened to my long time ago hero, Popeye the Sailor Man when he would say, “I yam what I yam and tha’s all what I yam”

  • Jabba

    lol……. I am if nothing else, uniquely me. Anthony Robbins said it best for me – “Those who tell us what we should do – mostly just should all over themselves.” be yourself. It is that you share yourself as you are so freely I think, yourself, that makes me like and respect you so much.

  • Thank you for this post. I needed to be reminded of this today. I see this forgotten so often in my travels that I sometimes forget as well. When I or anyone does forget it will come back to them.

  • Julie

    One of the best lessons we can teach ourselves…and our children…let’s celebrate our “differences” instead of everyone trying to be the same!!

  • Toni Hogan

    Great lesson Paul.  Self-improvement
    = Good.  Changing to please others = bad. I figured out a long time ago that some of my customers will not like all of me.  They buy from me, because they know all of me, even the parts that they dont care for.  I am me! I am the only person I know to be. 
        

  • Jess Robinson

    Thanks for the reminder, Paul. It must be a function of age for me. I’ve become non-apologetic for the essential me. In turn I think that makes me more accepting of others . . . which in turn makes me more relaxed around people . . . which in turn makes me a better salesperson . . . which in turn makes me . . . Wait? Am I just going around in circles???

  • Darrel

    Thanks, now I’ll be hearing a New York accent in my head when I read your posts:)

  • Kelly

    Great post~!  i had a boss that kept re-writing my sales letters because he said they were not professional enough, and I think his forcing me to change really hurt my results!  we need to be allowed to express ourselves in our own voice!  Thanks for the reminder – I hope sales managers are listening!

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