There are parts of my story that I have openly shared and there are parts, that I choose to keep buried away for safe keeping.
I’m not sure what compelled me to write this, but I’ve learned that when the feeling is there, I need to go with it.
As many of you know, I lost everything I had back in 1995.
The “Made For TV” version of the story would chronicle a journey to rebuild one’s life and ultimately become a better person and a giver.
Somehow I see one of those Rocky training montages while I rebuilt my life
But then there’s the part that isn’t quite as sexy!
I had had it!
I was done!
I was pissed and I truly did not give a damn if my existence ceased.
I wasn’t anywhere near ending my life . . .
I just didn’t care if for some reason it was my time to go.
I was broke
I felt like a loser
My shoes had holes in them and . . .
No matter how hard I tried, sh*t luck kept inviting itself over for dinner!
I believe the sum total of all of this is that I was now TOTALLY BROKE in every way possible.
In case you haven’t connected the dots . . . being financially broke is several steps up from this part of the storm!
But just as I started to lose hope, people appeared in my life who were kind and encouraging.
They shared their own stories with me which in some odd way made me feel better knowing that many people had been there.
I changed my thinking from trying to figure out a very complicated situation to just trying to figure out a piece at a time.
Then one night during the night shift, I realized that I needed this!
You heard me correctly . . . I needed it!
I didn’t want it, nor did I feel I deserved it . . . I needed it.
I needed it to make me a better person!
I needed it to open my eyes and give a damn about people who are struggling
I needed it to test my faith
And quite frankly, I needed it to do the work I do today!
I truly believe that there is something more profound . .
It taught me that people are great (pardon my language) bullsh*t artists!
In an effort to preserve their dignity . . .
They carry their own sad stories . . . tucked away . . . undetectable to those around them.
And most of us end up walking right passed them never knowing just how close to the brink they are.
You know, I was thinking today about the passing of Steve Jobs and how he once said something along the lines of wanting to put a ding in the universe.
Let’s face it, most of us won’t make that ding in the form of “Look at that ding that dude just made” on the other hand . . .
I think the greatest underestimation of our worth to mankind is that we may never truly know the impact we had on someone who was struggling.
And maybe that’s a philosophy that cuts both ways . .
As something to think about to open our eyes to those who could use our help and . .
As a reminder for us to think about should we ever question our own worth.
To have Paul speak at your next event, email paul@yoursalesplaybook.com or call (631) 455-2455
Paul,
I think this is your best post very motivating thank you
Thank you Kevin!
Truly it is a sincere honor!
Been there, done that, got a tshirt, Paul; thanks for sharing your story! The most important take away, I truly believe, is how being on the brink permanently instills empathy and compassion.
I hope so Patricia, at least in my case . . . otherwise I left the experience with the wrong lesson.
Thank you!
Paul:
So very true! Again I must add, your comments give me so much F**#ng pleasure and insight (or vv) everytime. THANKS! Ted
I make it a point to totally agree with anyone who says “f**#king in my blog comments 🙂
Thank you so much for the support!
Paul,
You frequently amaze me! You have a great gift for insight and a greater gift to be able to share that insight effectively. Thank you for sharing!
Best Wishes, Bob
Thank you Bob 🙂
Good morning, I agree with Paul, but each new post I say that. Thank you very much for sharing!
Debbie
Paul,
I have enjoyed and learned from your columns….never more than today. Thank you for making me stop and think…..again.
Best Regards,
Ellen
A sincere honor Ellen!
Thank you for taking the time to stop by and share that!
Paul-
Always know I can tune in for brutal honesty that will redirect my efforts and journey.
All the best to you and your family, Paul!
Regards,
Tim
Thank you Tim . . .all the best to you and your family as well my friend!
Paul, thanks for the transparency. Good to be reminded everyone has their own cross to bear, but we still all put our pants on one leg at a time.
We sure do . . . Thank you Bill!
Paul,
As usual another great post/observation. Like you said you needed that experience to be able to conduct your business today. It taught you that you are not the only one to have struggled with creating your own success!
Steve Jobs had a tough start to his life as well!
Have a great weekend Paul! You deserve it!
Cheers,
Larry
Thank you Larry . . . people like you make it easy to write because of you warm words of encouragement!
Dear brother Paul, OK you knocked it outta the park this time. This one is the bestest ever.
I sent you a personal note, a moment ago, somewhere therein I quote the beer commercial of yore, I love you man!
This afternoon, I meet with a legal client’s daughter, she may well be on the brink too. Your spectacularly good food for the soul, helps re-direct the manner in which I will approach the lady. Human hand extended.
Somewhere, your adorable 6th Grade nun, Sister Mary Formidable is feeling like she got thru to young Mister Castain.
God Speed on your Missions of Widsom, you make a difference dude!
Thank you Kevin!
This was a beautiful note as was the one you sent me offline!
Paul, thank you. Thank you for sharing with others things that I could not share enough. Thank you for putting thoughts that I have had into words and distributed to the masses. I too have been on the brink in 2008-2009. Now it seems like an eternity ago, but it was just 2 short years. I needed it also, I think that there are moments in life that we all need to hit the bottom of the barrel and start digging just to appreciate the good things that much more. I am back on my feet now thanks to the kindness of family, friends and strangers. The greatest gift we may give someone is hope and we never know when we impact others.
I love to hear things like this Ron.
Not the hardship part, but the part where it all worked out and where we also see how others helped us through our trials.
Thanks again and have an awesome day!
Paul – wow (sniff-sniff, now everyone outside my cubicle thinks I’m catching a cold). To say “well said” is a grotesque understatement.
During my illustrious past I had the opportunity to work as a mediator with a victim/offender group and was invited to listen to a young man speak. His story revolved around his involvement with gangs as a youth. Despite all the violence and death he witnessed, there was no one AHA moment for him that turned his life around. Rather it was the seeds planted by all of the people he had come in contact with that slowly sank in and took root. He is now a fervent activist against gang involvement and works tirelessly to keep young kids away from that life. While that’s somewhat of an extreme example you just never know what the results of a seemingly small act of kindness might be. Even something like a blog post on a Friday morning might change the world for someone.
Way to ding the universe,
Beth
Thank you Beth . . . I made it all up so I could get a bunch of blog comments today 🙂
Seriously, I am always moved by people who take their circumstances as an opportunity to make something good come of it.
Paul, I wish to take a moment and thank you. Not just for sharing once again, as you have with this article, for taking the time out of your busy schedule a few months ago to speak directly with me and share. I want everyone to know you are a man of your word, how you have defined your mission of helping others, and how your success is evident. Keep up the great work. I for one know the power of positive change and again want to thank you for helping to pull my head out of the fog.
Cheers,
Patrick
Very nice of you to say that Patrick and getting on the phone with a friend is never any trouble.
Thank you for your friendship Patrick!
Thank you “Uncle Paul”. That’s about all I can say right now. WOW!
Thank you 🙂
Thanks Uncle Paul,
You are the man and I take my hat off to you once again for so eloquently helping and sharing with us your personal story.
Thanks Broceph!
I write a tear jerker like this and you have the cohenes (or is it cojenes?) to call me broceph?
Actually, I thought that was pretty cool brohemeth! 🙂
Thanks
It’s actually “Cojones” 🙂 my favorite one that I never use for fear of backlash is Brosama Bin Laden…
I love that one but alas, we cannot use it 🙂
Thanks Paul, the article encouraged me double my efforts in helping others.
Awesome Bruce!
Thank you!
Beautiful Paul. I can so relate I have, over the past two years been through the furnace, medical and financial and relationship issues. But I am at a place now where I truly see that I needed it to get where I want to go. Like Steve Jobs said it’s much easier to connect the dots in retrospect. Thank you so much for the ding you are making in the Universe, you may not be aware of it but your transparency and very evident desire to lift up comes through in all you write. God has given you a gift of wisdom and the ability to communicate it in a cogent and compassionate manner.
Warmest regards and with deep respect,
Auntie Elizabeth
Thank you for such a kind note Elizabeth . . . You truly made my day!
Good morning Paul,
Awesome post once again! You lay the smack down and challenge us to look deep within ourselves. Your honesty brings power to your words and comfort to those in similar situations. I think you underestimate the ding you have put in the universe. After all, I can hear you loud and clear all the way from Toronto.
Cheers,
Chris
Go Leafs Go.
Paul, I’m relatively new to the Sales Playbook but have been drawn in with your no nonsense approach and many of the valuable comments, advice, etc. I’m finding here. However, I think what has “sealed the deal” for me is this piece. Few people would expose this aspect of themselves but it has tremendous value and inspiration since all of us endure a struggle at some point (personal and/or professional) especially in these challenging times. A great reminder to be there to help those who might be struggling as we’d hope someone would assist us when needed. Thanks!
Paul,
Came back to read this wonderful post for the third time. I so concur with many of the comments previously mentioned. You impact more peoples lives that you can possibly imagaine! I for one, greatly appreciate your uniqueness in style. As I always say, you are truly a Sales Rock Star! NEVER under-estimate your “Ding” Dude!
Bruce Zimmerman
Maa