Here’s today’s million dollar question . . . “What’s so important that you are willing to not be present, not be in the moment?” Before you answer it, please let me put that question into a context.
Somewhere in a neighborhood restaurant, a couple is having a meal together, catching up. One of their cell phones goes off, its answered and their time together must wait. And let’s be honest, most of the time its a nonsense call. Even if it isn’t, would the world end if you simply called that person back within an hour? Note: I used to think the world would end immediately if I didn’t check my blackberry immediately. Mrs Castain set me straight on how annoying that habit was and I’m now a changed man. It still amazes me how the world can somehow manage without me when I shut off my blackberry.
On Twitter I constantly see tweets “At my kid’s play” or “Having dinner with my family” Whenever there is a conference of some kind, there are people who feel a need to tweet about it, while its happening. Example: “Joe Jones is up on stage now talking about widgets” Here’s a groundbreaking idea: stop tweeting about it and (ready for this) just be in the moment dude! If you are having dinner with your family or catching the kid’s play, they are a tad more important than us, no? Besides, maybe you’ll learn something from Joe Jones while he’s up on stage if you learn to sit still and listen.
I step into the bathroom at an airport and some clown is taking a leak talking on his cell defiling the sanctity of the urinal. Meanwhile, one pathetic ring tone later, a confident “hello” resonates from a stall. So, let me see if I get this straight. We are now embracing multitasking to such a degree that its completely alright to do so when going to the bathroom? For those of you who partake in that behavior . . . how do you live with yourself? Think about this for a moment . . . The 6th grade version of you would want to kick your ass for (or at least push you into the urinal and flush you for such behavior!) Get a clue!
And just to illustrate that my house is indeed made of glass, I have this horrible habit of watching TV with my family while I am on my laptop computer. Shame on me! It certainly wouldn’t kill me to put aside what I’m doing to enjoy my family!
So, what are you allowing to take you out of the moment?
Is it worth it?
I just received some bad news that I need to convey to you immediately and you’re not going to like it. Life is no longer a dress rehearsal . . . its the real deal gang. Complete with expiration dates.
Today, you are invited to live your life . . . fully present!
This means:
Stop tweeting about what you’re doing . . . and just do it! Methinks your followers will thank you too 
Shut off your F’n cell phone when having a meal and don’t let me see you on one at a urinal (especially you women)
Close your laptop and enjoy that time with your family . . . they grow up way to fast
And most of all, please add this one to your “To Do’s”
Stop Taking It All So Seriously!
Life goes by pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Ferris Bueller
Carpe Diem!
To check out Paul’s ridiculously cool Linkedin group click on the rock star: 
To get free, deadly sales tips, click on the Jedi! 
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
Excellent article, people have lost the ability to focus on what they are doing and who they are with. The worst is sitting on an airplane waiting for take off and some jerks phone goes off and they answer it for the whole plane to hear their conversation.
I feel the need to add one more … what about the guy/gal either you or someone else is dining with with a bluetooth headset in his ear? Is this not the rudest thing in the world? Not to mention is down right dorky.
Thank you again. You really are kind of a Jedi Master.
Excellent article, Paul. The advice, or admonition, to “live in the moment and let less important things wait” is timely and couldn’t be repeated often enough. I have heard my kids groan when I pick up a call during “family” time, but they have big smiles when my answer is simply, “I’m busy now, I will call you back later.”
Paul, excellent article and thanks for the reminder to live in the moment. And I espcially agree about the annoying people who use cell phones in the restroom. How crude and classless! But I do have to plead guilty to the “using the laptop while watching TV” thing, especially when the commercials are on. However, thanks to Mrs. Ryan’s persuasion, I no longer keep the Blackberry on the nightstand. The reluctance that many of us have to live in the moment was captured in Blaise Pascal’s observation that “all the problems in the world are caused by man’s inability to sit quietly in a room by himself.”
Christopher Ryan
Great post! Don’t know where you found it but I LOVE the picture
Another great topic Paul! I have been a witness to all of the situations mentioned.
there is no reason to leave that thing in your ear all the time except to get attention
Bryan – that bluetooth headset is dorky no matter what, thank you for saying it
I was in the Post Office a few weeks ago, I had to wait in line for 40 minutes, the guy 2 people back decided to use this time to make all of his calls. Now, I am all for making the most of your “down” time, but I thought it was so rude of him to force the rest of us listen to all of his conversations. I can understand possibly answering an important call and finishing it but he made call after call, loud and obnoxious!!!
Most important was the point Paul made, to be present in the moment and enjoy it. When you are doing anything but giving the person you are with your undivided attention you are giving them a clear message of their value to you. Do you want the people you are with to think they are less important than anything else?
Sorry Paul, that I do not have the time to reply to this excellent article or tweet about it as I am going to have dinner with my family now.
Great show!
Jos
I’m with you on that topic Paul. We are NOT saving lives here (except the heart and brain surgeons within this group) so enjoy some time with the phone off. It is SO liberating!! 99% of the calls CAN wait until your meal or fun with the kids is complete.
Great day to you all!
Optimistically ~
Neil Wood
Paul,
I had often caught myself doing some of the things you noted, and I have really become much better at focusing on the moment and less on what the hell my phone or computer is trying to tell me. Your words just reiterate the need to focus on what is really important in our lifes because everything changes quickly and you only have that moment once.
I lost my cell phone charger and was without one for a week. It was a struggle to borrow and return others. So for a couple of days at a time, I was without my phone. It was fantastic!
Recently I turned off getting work e-mails sent direct to my phone. Again, what a fantastic freeing feeling. I figure if it’s that important, they can call me or text me. I’ll check it a few times while out of the office but I don’t need to be constantly connected at all times.
Rock on Paul
you are too funny! thanks for the “wisdom”!
AJ
Another great one Paul. Right on Krishna, the biggest reward we can receive is a big smile from our children. There is a quote I keep in front of me to remind me to stop and pay attention to those around me. “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embrasses those we love, they will bloom like flowers.” Thich Nhat Hanh
And to the blue tooth cartoons of the world, find a mirror, look closely at yourself, remove the bluetooth from the ear, and no one will get hurt!
OH YES, right on and right on… especially the one at the urinal. What the heck is that all about anyway???
(I feel like I’m at confession.) Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I’m guilty of engaging my laptop while watching TV with the family. I’ve been getting better – but still fall back into my evil ways sometimes. Will 10 Hail Mary’s do the trick??
Often times relating is not a good thing. Quality time is easy to define and easier to forget! The consequences of forgetting can be enormous. Its all about priorities. Even in today’s cloud environment not all clouds are created equal.
Paul,
Right on the mark – being in the moment with whomever you are with is not only respectful but also enriching. HOWEVER, there are times, not many, when you are putting a deal together and you absolutely have to connect with a certain party. In such situations, it is all about managing expectations. I always tell whomever I am with, often my wife, that my phone is on and that if a certain call comes in, I will have to take it and I do. The challenge is to discipline yourself to only take urgent, important and time sensitive calls. And believe me, my wife has helped me sort out what is really important, urgent and time sensitive.
Paul, you’re preachin to the choir. As a 50 something, I distinctly remember SBCP…Sales Before Cell Phones and it was WONDERFUL. You could spend time in your car contemplating the next call, reviewing in your mind the last call or simply enjoying the scenery.
Getting a back to your story, yes people need to get a life. Take it from me, I’ve died before. November 4 2008. Thanks to a daughter who knew CPR and immediately practiced it I am here to write this today otherwise I’d be pushing up daisies right now. People believe it or not, there is a LOT more to life than that stupid cell or blackberry or iPhone. I dare you to turn it off this weekend and go a whole weekend cold turkey, no cell, no email, no blackberry and no iPhone. Talk about stress relief. You’ll swear you were on vacation…do it and enjoy. Take it from a person who already died once…life is too damn short and that’s a fact.
Amen uncle Paul. The Auto On/Off on my Blackberry is priceless.
Wherever you are, be there.
Hank
My ‘favorite’ is the guy with the blue tooth in his ear, paying respects at a wake or funeral.
Paul,
When I first saw your headline, I immediately thought texting and driving. This is one multitasking activity that can truly cost you your life.
NOTE:
People, if you have to send/respond to a text while behind the wheel; Are you ready for this? Drum Roll—-PULL OVER and consider the safety of yourself and others on the road.
And I agree, the dude in the bathroom taking a whiz or worse, well you know, while talking on the phone, not only is that rude to the preson on the other end but it’s friggin gross. Make sure and take a mental note not to borrow that guy’s phone if your battery dies.
Thank you all for some fantastic comments!
@ Emmett Hossack That’s an amazing story my friend. Not only am I glad you shared it but I found your challenge about shutting off our cell phones and blackberries this weekend!
I believe we all needed that reminder.
Life is indeed too short.
Too many times we kid ourselves into thinking we have all this time to get it right and perhaps we are on the 85 or 90 year plan before we punch our time card.
Things don’t always go according to plan.
As corny as it is, I believe its true:
Live each day as if it were your last . . . one day you’ll be right.
Please enjoy your families this weekend, slow down and wherever you are . . . just be there, fully present!
Respectfully,
Paul Castain
A dude who totally loves being in the moment
So true. My old boss Jim Sterling used to say “when you’re on the road, don’t let your technology get in the way of why you went to visit in person”. I’ve never forgotten it.
Hey Paul, nice blog.. really hit me on the rock. I was known as a multitasking girl, like i can do 7 things at once
Even now, my other side of brain thinking about what I’m gonna write on my next media calendar plan and the other one is typing here to you hehe
I really have to re-set my priority and slow down a little bit.
Thanks Paul, at least next I could try to ignore my cellphone while I’m eating. But shut it down?? hehe not yet probably
Life is lived on the ground in the now, not the effervescent ether. Note to self: You’ll never wish you’d worked harder …