I’m not going to lie, I’ve made some epic cold calls in my career. When I say “Epic”, I mean so good the stars seemed to align to spell “Uncle Paul” and so bad, that hanging up on myself was the only way decent thing to do. Epic!

As penance for the sins committed earlier in my sales career I’m even the not so proud recipient of an occasional epic(ly) bad call!

So bad that I found myself saying “You gotta be kidding me?” as they went from bad to worse to just flat out nutty!

Like this one call . . .

It all started with an out of the blue email from someone that I might have exchanged all of about 2 tweets with. But that’s cool because on Twitter, that’s like, 2 tweets. People get married in Vegas with lower level relationships, right?

In the email this person mentioned a mutual contact and how this person mentioned that we should talk. Really? Screw it, I’ll play along!

I agree to a day and time which is later missed by the very person who requested the meeting. Strike 2 ½ as far as I’m concerned so I write it off.

I get a bunch of emails and voicemails apologizing and even one that seems rather urgent. In the last voicemail, he mentions that he will be speaking again(later that day) to this mutual contact and was hoping we could chat prior. I start thinking maybe this guy is in some type of trouble or something is up so I call him.

We start with some chit chat and then he asks me to tell him about what I do. WTF? (Sorry, but to tell you I said “Golly” is equally insulting). I don’t mean to be rude, but a monkey could have done a better job of researching me (and providing a better call opener!) I’m tempted to give him my best Ron Burgundy “I’m sort of a big deal” imitation but I fear that Rain Man might take me seriously. So I just stick to one syllable words and march onward.

Then he launches in to 10 minutes of sales pitch and I go off on an outer body experience.

As random as this might seem, I kept thinking of that line from “A Christmas Story”  “He just lay there like a slug . . . it was his only defense”

Then he puts these pauses in designed to have me fill them with some nervous chatter. The slug defense was working so I kept at it and didn’t give in.

Then he asked me if I could see a fit.

He received a real hardy “NO” and then he decided to have at it again. Note: this time I decided continue writing a training manual while he pitched. He finished. I wished him luck, shook my head and decided that some good must come from that eternity I spent on the phone.

So, onward to the good in the form of 7 “You Gotta Be Kidding Me” tips:

1)    If you are going to use your social network, make sure the person is truly a “connection”.

2)    Don’t trick people with that “Mystery Call” BS you know, where you have this “urgent”, mysterious need to talk with them. Do you really think the recipient of this stupidity is going to say to you (once they realized they’ve been duped) “Ha! That was an awesome lie and you won fair and square. You’ve now won my trust”?

3)    Do your homework! And for those of you who don’t . . . So it’s OK to Google the name of a movie, a restaurant, a song, a band, a recipe, a porn star (just seeing if you’re paying attention) but not the name of someone you’re trying to sell?

4)    Understand that when you contact a business owner and you make it clear that you didn’t complete step #3, you will usually piss someone off enough to end the discussion. Many of my business owner friends have used the word “disrespectful” to describe this act and I concur.

5)    If you ask someone to tell you about them self,  you need to genuinely care about their story, ask cool questions to get them to (get this) talk more about them self.  Once they tell their story the natural cadence of the discussion will most probably flow to you. If it doesn’t . . .they’ll still label you a “brilliant conversationalist”! You win either way!

6)    Rethink your message knowing that the one you’re about to use might suck. Unsuckify it by customizing it from the research you do, practicing, perhaps taping yourself practicing it and then (for a goof) practice it again. Did I mention that practicing is a really good thing?

7)    Don’t ask someone if they see a fit if they haven’t said one word during your 10 minute rant! And while we’re at it, don’t go off on a 10 minute rant. Speak in short sound bites and then tag a question at the end of each one so you have an actual exchange.

So there you have it folks, a sad story and 7 tips to help you avoid the dreaded “You gotta be kidding me” call!

Your Cold Call Is About To Get WARMER!

We’ve just announced the dates for our new online course Prospect Like A Pro!

There are 6 killer sessions that will help you bring your game up a notch or 3.

Here’s a partial list of what we’ll be covering . . .

• How to find the time to make more calls WITHOUT working an extra minute
• How to get more warm referrals than you typically experience
• How to find potential clients with a 400% higher probability of buying
• How to craft an objection resistant opening
• How to “ditch the pitch” and create conversations that make an impact
• How to overcome nervousness and call reluctance
• How to overcome 10 common objections (I include word for word templates)
• How you can leverage “Send me your information” to your advantage
• How to leave a better voicemail and get more call backs

As part of the early registration promo, I’m throwing in a special one on one coaching session.

During this session, you and I will test your opening statement and then do some serious sparring. I’ll offer tips, guidance and then send you a recording of our call so you can step back and hear yourself.

To get a session by session break down, click HERE but do it soon because the FREE sparring session and $100 savings ends ends soon!

For special rates (and extras) on 2 or more participants, email me an approximate number of participants. paul@yoursalesplaybook.com