39 thoughts on “How Do You Get To Know Your Social Network?”

1. Because of my location in China and then the majority of folks I interact with being in the Western-world: I have to do a bit of courting, interacting online first.

   Cannot go for the immediate face-to-face for obvious reasons. The immediate phone call unless there is a live inquiry, comes off as weird.

   Online banter, sharing links, directing them to my blog, asking about their life ~ this takes me to phone call level and then the eventual higher level of China trip meeting or meeting when I fly overseas.

   I think I learned it from Old Man Castain (that’s what we call you in China and it has nothing but reverence), but stay visible, consistent and worth talking to and the rest can fall into place.

   1. Thanks Jacob and keep up the great work with your blog my friend. I feel like I’ve visited China many times through you experiences!

2. Because of my location in China and then the majority of folks I interact with being in the Western-world: I have to do a bit of courting, interacting online first.

   Cannot go for the immediate face-to-face for obvious reasons. The immediate phone call unless there is a live inquiry, comes off as weird.

   Online banter, sharing links, directing them to my blog, asking about their life ~ this takes me to phone call level and then the eventual higher level of China trip meeting or meeting when I fly overseas.

   I think I learned it from Old Man Castain (that’s what we call you in China and it has nothing but reverence), but stay visible, consistent and worth talking to and the rest can fall into place.

3. This is why social media has to be a mirror of the real world. You always have to be truhtfull in what you say in your social media….

   1. I agree Ronald.

      Thank you.

4. This is why social media has to be a mirror of the real world. You always have to be truhtfull in what you say in your social media….

5. This is why you always have to tel the truth about who you are, in dutch we say: al is de leugen nog zo snel de waarheid achterhaald hem wel! witch means: when a lie is already said the truth will finisch at first.

6. This is why you always have to tel the truth about who you are, in dutch we say: al is de leugen nog zo snel de waarheid achterhaald hem wel! witch means: when a lie is already said the truth will finisch at first.

7. There’s always a certain disconnect between offline you and online you, the most successful networkers, in both lives, are to me those who keep this disconnect to the minimum. At the two edges, those who can’t relate to people through a computer, and the misanthropes who prefer online relationships by far.
   Of the two, I probably lean towards the second, but I am working on that. Improving and learning, that what keeps us alive.

   1. You and me both Gabriele.

      Thanks for weighing in on this.

8. There’s always a certain disconnect between offline you and online you, the most successful networkers, in both lives, are to me those who keep this disconnect to the minimum. At the two edges, those who can’t relate to people through a computer, and the misanthropes who prefer online relationships by far.
   Of the two, I probably lean towards the second, but I am working on that. Improving and learning, that what keeps us alive.

   1. You and me both Gabriele.

      Thanks for weighing in on this.

9. I’m deaf, functioning in a hearing environment. This puts up a few extra hurdles in connecting in a meaningful way with clients and potential clients. With email and IM as my primary forms of interaction, I try to infuse all communications with warmth, humor and invitations to ask questions. Beyond that, I take every opportunity I can to have face to face meetings.

   1. I never thought about it from this perspective Donna and it makes perfect sense.

      In this case the written word and connecting via this form of communication is key.

      Thanks for stopping by and opening my eyes Donna!

10. That’s a great question and I see the chicken and egg dilemma as a case by case scenario. Some Social Media encounters provide an immediately perceived “mutual” value to justify escalating to real time. In other circumstances I find it best to nurture the courtship online to build the relationship and identify where the perceived value would derive from, either personally or professionally.

    1. Great points Jared and I’ve certainly taken more of a case by case as well.

       Thanks!

11. That’s a great question and I see the chicken and egg dilemma as a case by case scenario. Some Social Media encounters provide an immediately perceived “mutual” value to justify escalating to real time. In other circumstances I find it best to nurture the courtship online to build the relationship and identify where the perceived value would derive from, either personally or professionally.

12. The phone call can be weird. I connected with one person by phone, whom I’d gotten to know through a group we belonged to. She commenced to tell me about herself, starting with (I swear this to be true)…I was born in bla bla bla, …then I transferred high schools….bla bla bla….in my third year of university, bla bla bla, wel you get the point. is that it’s best to keep the conversation relatively professional! If i ask you the time, please don’t start with the invention of the sundial!

    1. I both agree and respectfully disagree.

       I agree that it can be rather annoying and cumbersome to sit through that, on the other hand, perhaps it was something they felt a need to share.

       She might be sitting there right now thinking about how you only wanted to talk business.

       I do agree that we should give thought to what we say and how long we take to say it.

       Thanks LA!

       1. For sure, the best thing is to pick up on each other’s cues.
          We definitely were on different wave lengths that day! The bottom line is that she and I connect better online, than off-line.

          Kind of like how some relationships work well when you see each other all the time, and other relationships are better with shorter or less frequent visits.

          Thanks for the perspective Paul.

          1. Your points are always well taken LA . . . thank you as well!

             1. I seem to take both approaches. But I not shy in recomending that we arrange a meetig between a social contact where I have a strong feeling that we might be in a position of mutual benefit.

             2. I agree and thank you for stopping by!

             3. Connecting with people can be a little weird, in some cases borderline creepy. It’s important to connect a bit more online and engage people in conversations, then potentially reach out for a phone conversation.

                NIce post

             4. Totally agree Chelsea. I usually become a bit hesitant when I connect and someone wants to immediately get on a call, meet etc.

                While I respect that this is simply their way of connecting, I too have my way.

                Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful weekend!

       2. For sure, the best thing is to pick up on each other’s cues.
          We definitely were on different wave lengths that day! The bottom line is that she and I connect better online, than off-line.

          Kind of like how some relationships work well when you see each other all the time, and other relationships are better with shorter or less frequent visits.

          Thanks for the perspective Paul.

          1. Your points are always well taken LA . . . thank you as well!

13. LinkedIn is my hero. Getting involved in groups, building a network, starting email conversations….and then the courtship begins!

    My goal in every online interaction is to get to the point where a phone call is the only logical next step. Although I haven’t ran into anyone telling me about what they did in high school…that could be kinda fun!

    As I nurture my network, it grows and business starts booming! Obviously I have to keep all sides of the fence ($$ vs. relationships) in mind as I network, but I always keep my focus on listening and building that relationship. My most success has always been with people that I “know”, rather than the people that I’ve only emailed once or twice.

    1. I can’t say enough great things about Linkedin as well Jeremiah. I think I liked it so much I neglected the Twitter and Facebook for a while there 🙂

       I like your thought about getting to the point where a phone call is the only logical next step.

       Thanks for stopping by!

14. RE: LA Palamar and responses =>Whew! Paul thank you for your opening reply sentence and LA thank you for responding about cue’s. I’m not much of a revealer of things about my personal life but catch me lately in the wrong frame of mind & I’m blathering. And thank you for understanding that at those moments I am not being the self you have gotten to know on line.

    1. Its called being human Cheri and for that we don’t apologize.

       Now if we get too human on too many occasions, then that’s a different scenario 🙂

15. RE: LA Palamar and responses =>Whew! Paul thank you for your opening reply sentence and LA thank you for responding about cue’s. I’m not much of a revealer of things about my personal life but catch me lately in the wrong frame of mind & I’m blathering. And thank you for understanding that at those moments I am not being the self you have gotten to know on line.

16. I seem to take both approaches. But I not shy in recomending that we arrange a meetig between a social contact where I have a strong feeling that we might be in a position of mutual benefit.

    1. I agree and thank you for stopping by!

17. Connecting with people can be a little weird, in some cases borderline creepy. It’s important to connect a bit more online and engage people in conversations, then potentially reach out for a phone conversation.

    NIce post

18. It’s a little early on Saturday to be thinking about relationships, especially the whole chicken/egg thing. I seem to have the best results here on Linked In. Someone in my town, or nearby, or who may know me asks to join my network, I take a look at their profile and poof, I just magically seem to know whether we might both benefit from having a cup of coffee offline/real world. Well, not really magically, but whatever works right? Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t, but still, for an old guy like me, sharing a cup of joe works wonders in starting a conversation, and then possibly a relationship which could help the both of us. A win win always wins.

    1. I like it Jim and next time I’m in your neck of the woods we’ll have to meet for that cup of coffee my friend!

       Thanks for stopping by!

19. It’s a little early on Saturday to be thinking about relationships, especially the whole chicken/egg thing. I seem to have the best results here on Linked In. Someone in my town, or nearby, or who may know me asks to join my network, I take a look at their profile and poof, I just magically seem to know whether we might both benefit from having a cup of coffee offline/real world. Well, not really magically, but whatever works right? Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t, but still, for an old guy like me, sharing a cup of joe works wonders in starting a conversation, and then possibly a relationship which could help the both of us. A win win always wins.

    1. I like it Jim and next time I’m in your neck of the woods we’ll have to meet for that cup of coffee my friend!

       Thanks for stopping by!

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