Being real can be quite scary because you have to be willing to let people see the real you.
Doing so makes you vulnerable to opinions and in some cases . . .
Heavy duty judgment!
Being real can also be scary to the recipient of your message because it might come across harsh, offensive or downright nutty!
I often wonder if we should filter our “real” out of respect for our audience or if that is just simply not being real.
I mean what if you like to drop F bombs when you’re at home because that’s the real you.
Pull that at work and you’re spending quality time with HR.
So what say you Sales Playbook . . . is filtering our “Real” in order to be respectful and appropriate just unreal with a nicer suit of clothes or is it a much more sustainable approach?
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Paul, great topic. I believe in being real. Does that mean that I might show up for a business meeting in pajamas? Does it mean I would feel comfortable getting sloshed at a business mixer? Of course not. Being real does not mean being unrealistic. In my opinion, being real means allowing your personality to shine. It is not about exposing ones quirky habits.
There are still some social and business norms that we need to respect; both out of respect for ourselves and for others. If you really think you need to tone it down to gain acceptance in certain circles, perhaps you need to tone it down in general?
Well said, Marc. If there are too many places you can’t go without altering your personality significantly, perhaps you should visit the self-improvement section of the nearest bookstore.
Great post, Paul.
I love it . . . Well stated Diana!
Thanks!
I think this is where the confusion begins for some people Marc. They may think that being respectful isn’t being real and they stubbornly forge onward with a “I call it like I see it” attitude.
I agree that we might just need to tone it down.
Thanks Marc!
Being real means that you can navigate different situations and understand the social norms expected. I can be as real and honest at a football game with customers as I can be in a formal quarterly meeting. I got a great piece of advice when starting out in business related to social functions…You NEVER want to be the “headline” the next day because of your behavior. A conservative approach never hurts, too!
I agree.
Sounds like we should be willing and able to adapt to the various situations we bring ourselves to.
Thank you Ms Bennett 🙂
I think we all prefer authenticity-I know I am always striving for it in
my personal/professional dealings. However, being “real” is not an
excuse for rude or unprofessional behavior. There are circumstances
when you may need to “tone it down” or simply choose not to express
yourself (via words or actions) because it is
unproductive/counter-productive to your overall goal.
I think Diana Watters sums it up succinctly: “If there are too many places you can’t go without altering your
personality significantly, perhaps you should visit the self-improvement
section of the nearest bookstore.”
Morning Paul! As I
think about this topic, a few things come to mind. Being authentic is very
important to me. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to get in people’s faces with a “what
you see is what you get” attitude. If you have project in that manner,
chances are you are not comfortable enough in your own skin to let your
personality speak for itself.
Conversely, have you ever seen people act totally different
at a social event with their spouse than they do at work? Sometimes it’s like
they aren’t even the same person. I always find that weird and interesting. If
you can’t be yourself in front of the person who supposedly knows you better
than anyone, you may want to spend a little time figuring out what your deal
is.
It’s just not that hard. Be authentic, be respectful, and be
interested in others. Do you have to adjust sometimes depending on the
situation? Of course; we all do. But this is the give and take that happens naturally
as we get to know one another. When this occurs, we aren’t “acting” real, we
are being real.
Everything you have just written is brilliant Francine and here is my favorite . . . ” When this occurs, we aren’t “acting” real, we
are being real.”
Well stated!
Thank you for stopping by!
I think there is a tendency for people to be who they think we want them to be, rather than who they really are. I agree with you though Paul, at the end of the day there has to be a balance as to not land you in trouble at your place of business! But I truly believe more of who you really are and less of who you think you should be is the best strategy for gaining respect, providing value, and people generally identifying what “you bring to the party”.
You raise several fantastic points Tim!
I wonder if we just stop worrying about what others think and just brought ourselves, in a respectful manner if we are hitting the appropriate balance?
Thanks Tim. I really appreciate your thoughts!
Thanks Paul! You are bang on balance is the key. I think it is natural to worry about what other people think to a certain extent, and it affects some more than others how they act in general. If you look at people like Howard Stern or our Hockey Guru in Canada Don Cherry, they have huge followings. People are always waiting to hear what they will say next. It is impossible to agree with everything that they say or condone how they act all the time, but people always want more. The biggest reason is because they are real.
Let’s look at two different theories to market yourself to the world..
#1 I am XX, and I have done XX, and I have accumulated XX, so you should buy XX from me
#2 I am XX and I have been through XX (I am still standing), and I want to share my story, provide value and help you with XX.
Who can the average person related to more in society today?
Thanks!
Once in a while you can here one go off in our shop…..I call it passion! I can remember George Fisher, the former CEO of the Eastman Kodak Company, being quoted that he wouldn’t have minded a display of passion once in a while it would have been refreshing.
Passion is quite refreshing indeed Mr Hebert!
Thank you for taking the time to stop by and share your thoughts!
I came back into sales after 5 years in production… It was really like starting from the beginning. I made a very concious decision to just be myself, of course within the parameters of professionalism in a business environment.
In the past 6 months the results are awesome. I have several really great new friends, tons of business relationships that will last. Oh yeah, Sales are rocking!
What I have noticed as well, a bit of a side effect, the professional restraint in all of my business dealing is spilling over into other areas of my life, and overall, relationships in general are better.
Social media is part of that as well… I am always aware that everyone in my personal life is able to see everything I do in business online and vice-versa.
There used to be a little fear about laying myself out there for “real”, I have been judged harshly a time or two…. but I lived 🙂 Another thing that happened is that others actually defended me in those times. Does it really get any better than that?
Great post as always Paul, Thanks!
Thank you Lorne!