If you were sitting with me, as I typed the title for today’s blog post, you would have noticed a very big change in my demeanor.
In fact, I typed those words and then went into a bit of shock . . .
Because I’ve never publicly admitted that I didn’t want to fight to get my life back after I lost everything in ’95.
It didn’t happen to me right away but you get your ass kicked enough times and sometimes you just want to give up.
In my case, it wasn’t an end your life type of give up.
It was the kind of give up where you suffer from what experts call “not giving a damn”
At that point I wasn’t just financially broke, I was emotionally broke and quite frankly I felt defined by my circumstances which were . . .
I lost my business
I lost both my cars
I was $60,000 in debt
2 small children
Working 8 pm to 8 am in one job
Delivering pizzas in another
And did I mention, that I felt like a loser?
I’d like to repeat something again if I may . . .
I felt defined by my circumstances!
I wish I could visit the younger (less bald) version of myself and tell that dude to lighten the hell up.
Our circumstances don’t define us!
I would then tell him that all I was really facing was a really bad round in the fight.
Truth be told, I did realize that at one point and became quite angry with myself and my circumstances but . . .
That led to a little something called “getting back in the fight”.
And since I’m confessing it all anyway, you need to know that I still had some rounds that I came out of quite bloodied . . . life can be funny like that but . . .
There’s something about that moment, when you get tired of getting your ass kicked and you come back with everything you have.
That moment when you sort of say “My turn b*tch” but you say it to a guy which I think is really demeaning but I’m not quite sure why I just wrote that.
I’ll spare you the rest of the sermon and simply tell you this . . .
You are worthy of the life you want!
You are not defined by your circumstances and . . .
You mustn’t ever let ANYTHING take your fight away from you.
Now should you find yourself in a set of circumstances where you have already lost your will to fight . . .
Know that you have the power to change that!
You know, in some crazy way, I wish someone could have taken the loser 1995 version of Paul Castain and brought him to this part of the blog where I am encouraging you based on my own failures.
Yet another reason why life is funny and how delays are never denials.
To your inevitable success my friend!
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wow. great powerful words. our business was flooded last september and I have had a lot of tough rounds over the last six months. “lighten up” and come out punching will be in my thoughts all day today. thanks, paul.
Go get ’em Lou!
Thanks for stopping by!
You know, if you have lived long enough, I think most folks have had similar moments at times. I know I have. And, while I would not want to revisit the circumstances, I feel that having been through that time has made me a stronger, better person today.
Certainly, that can be life changing in the best of ways. Personally, I have a new respect for life, a new respect for people, and a new respect for myself.
Cheers bud. You always give people stuff that makes us think and thinking often leads to positive changes.
First and foremost . . . Thank you for the kind words Marc!
I really like what you say here “Personally, I have a new respect for life, a new respect for people, and a new respect for myself.”
I truly believe this says it all!
Have a great weekend buddy!
You speak of what has been called the American Spirit. It’s that Spirit that the Federal Government wants to strip away. Kudos to you and to all Americans who have learned to dig deep enough to find that fighting Spirit…those are the winners who lead us all!
Thank you!
Great comments Paul! I think we all have days where we feel hopeless, then that spirit comes up and we realize it is just one step forward at a time.
Boy is that the truth Kaye.
Where the heck were you back in ’95 when I needed those words of wisdom 🙂
Thanks for stopping by!
I just forwarded your post to my cousin, who thinks he’s fighting to keep his business afloat. I know (from reading you) that he’s really fighting to keep himself afloat. I know if he can find the right spirit, he’ll learn that his current business isn’t the only scorecard his life will be measured by.
I hope everyone stops and reflects upon what you’ve written here
I know if he can find the right spirit, “he’ll learn that his current business isn’t the only scorecard his life will be measured by.”
Brilliant!
Thank you!
Such an inspiring post. Everyone needs to hear this
Thank you Lee!
Wishing you a fantastic weekend!
True That Paul. Why is it we LET circumstances and people take away our will to live?
Congratulations and the post is most appreciated! Rock on my friend!
“Why is it we LET circumstances and people take away our will to live?” The day you and I have the answer to this one is the day we’ll put Dr Phil out of business!
I really wish I had a clue why we do this.
I’m hoping the old “awareness is the first step” will get us all headed in the right direction and we can liberate our lives!
Thank you Anita . . . you are appreciated my friend!
Great timing for me Paul, thank you. I manage a $10M+ business and last year delivered a 100%+ ROI, great huh….you might thinkg so. Yesterday I was basically told to double my marketshare (17 now to 30+) in two years…with a veiled “or else”. I had a pity party of sort last night, came in with some ideas this morning and then read your post. Thanks again.
I think its good that you were able to get the pity party out of the way. Now its out of your system!
Time to kick some butt!
Go get ’em!
Paul,
You cannot know what it meant for me to read this today. You are being used in the lives of other people.
My very best,
Elizabeth Houser
Comments like this fill up my emotional gas tank Elizabeth!
Thank you!
Thank you Paul, this post is a timely one for me. I’m building my business back from the bottom up…one step forward, two steps back has been the pattern as of late. I needed this.
I appreciate your honesty and look forward every day to seeing what Paul’s thinking today. Thanks so much for sharing.
You made my day Ms Foster . . . Thank you so much!
Thank you Very Much Sir, I really needed it
A sincere honor Prem . . . Thank YOU!
Hi Paul,
Thanks for the locker-room pep talk. It’s halftime and I really needed this encouragement this morning. You always seem to post these at the most opportune times. Keep m’ coming . . . Have a great day!
Chris
Thank you for letting me know that Chris. I’m so glad I listen to my gut and write these things when the mood hits!
TGIF my friend!
I love this. It’s raw, open, honest, and empowering. All words I would use to define who you are today, Paul.
A recent post on one of my favorite blogs recently talked about the crucible that forges entrepreneurs, and this was your crucible moment. Thank you for sharing with us.
GREAT POST! Sometimes it feels easier to give up than buck up. Thanks for the reminder that we create our own reality.
I love that Gayle “we create our own reality” so true and sometimes it feels like its easier said than done.
Thank you!
Wishing you an awesome weekend!
GREAT POST! Sometimes it feels easier to give up than buck up. Thanks for the reminder that we create our own reality.
Paul thank you for sharing your information. This article can be used by all but especially the long term unemployed in the US. It might help them with their struggles to regain their dignity.
I know it must be rough for them and it would really make my day to know they found some inspiration!
Thank you Roger!
Paul: I’ve been told that you should coach on whatever took you to hell and back. Looks like the 1995 Paul set you up to be a successful and inspirational coach. Thank you for being so honest in this post!
I really appreciate that Donna!
Thank you!
Great post as always, Paul. Thanks for sharing and inspiring the group. And thanks to all who posted their comments. It helps to know that others are going through this as well.
I too found the comments to be particularly motivating Jim!
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to share your thoughts!
BADASS Uncle Paul!!
Thanks Bro-chacho
I love it when you curse on my blog Peter 🙂
Uncle Paul, THANK YOU! I enjoy your blog, but this hit home, Great timing. Thanks again!
A sincere honor Randy . . . Thank YOU!
Paul — It wouldn’t have worked. The caterpillar can’t become the butterfly without first dissolving into ooze.
Each of us, even those who appear enormously successful from the outside looking in, will go through several of these recreations in our lives.
Embrace the journey or you’ll never get to the destination.
“Embrace the journey or you’ll never get to the destination.”
Perfect Gill!
Thank you!
Wow Paul, I was talking to the big one upstairs last night on this very subject. I got my answer through you!! Mysterious ways I always say…
THANKS!
Paul,
Great comments! We all go through times when it becomes Boot Strap time. Unless you want to sit on the curb with the homeless, you gotta find another gear to get back in the game. This economy has taught all of us tough lessons who never experienced the Great Depression.
Like a local sports radio Analyst says…”sports don’t build character they reveal it”
Have a great Weekend Uncle Paul!
Regards,
Larry
Thank you Cynthia. My only regret is that I didn’t realize that at the time. Would have made it an easier pill to swallow!
Have a great weekend!
Full speed ahead Beth . . . You can do it!
Thank you for taking the time to stop by and comment!
I was lucky enough not to have small children when my world collapsed around me. Took a year off and traveled the country in a tent! Makes you prioritize what is really important. Small things like running water :). Decided to boot strap a small business and now I am back to kickin ass and takin names, tough going but fun!
With your permission, those tips are going up in my cubicle at work as a daily reminder and affirmation. Thanks.
I like to recall Ferdinand Fochs (Field Commander of the allied forces in WW1) when asked for a situation analysis…”My center is giving way, my right is in retreat, I have no room to maneuver. Situation is excellent. I shall attack.”
Paul,
Great timing for me with this post. What A Friday. Thanks for putting yourself out there and giving to us all.Cheers,Jamie
As a man thinketh in his heart, that is how it is. Amen Paul. This too shall pass. Tomorrow is coming whether we worry about it or not (or fear or doubt or whatever). So roll with it and keep pushing. Great post sir.
It takes a lot of courage to go back and look your failures in the face.
It takes even more courage to give your personal failures as a lesson to others.
Thank you for the chance to see how you became who you are.
Wayne Dyer once said the wake can’t steer the boat, just showing where it has been.
Keep it up.
Paul, simply put, you are an inspiration. Thanks for caring enough to share!
Virtually Yours,
Anne-Marie
Paul, 2010-2011 was like that for me. Things have finally broke, I’m “re-feeding the elephant” and 2012 is looking to be one of the best years in memory. It all starts in your head and your heart! (glad to have mine back!) Cheers!
One of the things I always quote to my classes or audiences is:
“Attitudes are chosen, not assigned. Choose well!”
Paul – I think most of us have been there before also. I know I have. More than once.
It is easy to blame circumstances for your problems and then to accept them as being your new reality. Or, as you said, you can get back up, dust yourself off, and get back into the ring of life.
For me, “woe is me” is not a lifestyle. I refuse to let circumstances dictate who I am. And, should I be unlucky enough to find myself at the bottom of the barrel again. I will pull myself out of the mire and renew the fight.
Each day is precious and even if sometimes the days seem tedious, they can never be regained. We cannot turn back the clock. Make each day count, make them special, and life will be so much better regardless your circumstances.
I really believe there is a silver lining in every black cloud.
Cheers,
Marc
Sometimes I think there is a tiny bit of resistance, usually rooted in fear, of the utter failure at the bottom. A clinging to coasting along…grasping at the twigs preventing your fall into the chasm. I firmly believe that once you finally let go and allow yourself to really hit that bottom that you can then allow yourself to bounce back up. Embrace the failure. You don’t have to accept it. But you don’t have to fear it either. Do something different. Apply yourself. Learn. There are many failures along the path of learning.