When you run at high speed and you’re focused on the game, it can be rather hard to shut it off once the day is officially over.
While I fully get the whole idea of working your hiney off and out working your competitors, it becomes worthless, rather quickly, if you trash your personal relationships in the process. Even more worthless if you become the richest dude/dudette in the cemetery.
Here are a few ideas that can help . . .
Try your best to have a “hard stop” time each day. Treat it like any other appointment and respect it. Don’t break it or put it off. Get in the habit of stopping at that time.
And don’t screw it up by checking email, taking calls etc.
Note: I run a business that is experiencing explosive growth so sometimes this is easier said than done. Here’s a great compromise that works for those of us who are running at warp speed . . .
Do the hard stop anyway and circle back later after you break bread with your loved ones, hug your kids or simply enjoy your life.
I had only one person in the 2 ½ years since I started Castain Training Systems give me a hard time for doing that. I explained that after 6:00 my priority is my family. They persisted and I invited them to use a trainer who didn’t give a sh*t about balance.
Do your best to transition your thoughts from work to your personal life.
To help me transition, I have a number of playlists on my iPhone.
One is laid back instrumental music.
I have another one with all the music I like to listen to when I go camping. I listen to it and it transports me to the campground, the campfire (maybe a beer or three around the campfire).
I have other playlists from when I was growing up.
Music has an incredible way of anchoring emotions we experience during a period of time. That’s why when we hear a tune, we often go right back to the place.
So when I’m listening to “8675309” or “Black Coffee In Bed” I’m thinking about my senior year in HS and access some really cool memories.
When I hear VanHalen or Ozzy, I’m thinking back to when I had hair, played in bands and didn’t have to worry about grown up stuff!
I could go on and on about what I’m thinking about when I hear certain songs/artists but more importantly, let me tell you what I’m NOT thinking about . . . Work!
You can also create a comedy playlist to help you end your day with a few laughs.
Also, stop being a hero!
I worked for a company where everyone thought they were supposed to be in the office until like 6:30 or so.
I remember the first time I hauled ass out of there at 5:15 and was given a hard time about it.
I told them I refused to sit at my desk pretending to do stuff when I was done. Actually, that’s partially true, I might have said something that was both sarcastic and not so HR friendly but I realize some of you are impressionable so I’d rather present the enhanced, professional version of what I said.
Anyway, I gotta go. I need to finish up some stuff so I can stop on time to hang out with my family tonight.
Feel free to call me a lightweight, a slacker but then again, I’m still on my first marriage and will soon celebrate 25 years, I only missed one of my kid’s events in 19 years and when I hear that awful song “Cat’s in cradle” I’ll tell the dude;
You’re preaching to the choir!
Peace!
Yeah baby! “With a rebel yell, she cried more, more, more”, and oh yes..Today’s Tom Sawyer! Good memories, thanks for the way-back machine, even for a second!
Always a pleasure Kory!
Thank YOU!
Totally agree with you Paul — music is an integral part of my daily life, and good idea to point out how it is great to help you transition. Give it your all when you are at work, and give your family 100% when you are with family. Of course there will always be exceptions when the two cross over, but for me keeping a structured start/stop lets life balance quite happily. Kudos to you and the Mrs. for 25 years! I just toasted 28 years with my best friend and we still enjoy each other’s company! He’s the best.
An all caps CONGRATS for 28 years Lynda!
Thanks!
College days memories. We used to sing the Rolling Stones song, “I’m So Hot for Her And She’s Cold” to our beer cups.
Balance baby! Our boys are 14 and 11 and we’ve been talking to them about balance for years. In the music they listen too, the shows they watch, the video games they play, the life they live.
Work is a means to and end. Family first.
An all caps AMEN to that Patrick . . . Well stated!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Agree completely. I also start my day with some musical solace. Exercise the mind and the body.
Absolutely Peter!
Wishing you an awesome Friday!
Many many powerful messages in this post Paul! It will not surprise you that I was VERY impressed with how you incorporate music in to your life and the memories that resonate from the songs. Have a fantastic wekeend..
Mr. Paul:
Very nicely said. Sometimes you are going at warp speed, or the alligators or nipping at your butt again, and you need to attend to it all. Your post is from the4 12 and I am reading it 5 days later (I DO save them for a more opportune time occasionally).
Case in point I was rolled up into a difficult customer issue. Saving face, keeping the customer happy while getting enough technical info about the product and process to sound intelligent and be useful to the customer. This is when you NEED that hard stop. If you keep hammering away at the problem, you may just be hammering away and getting nothing done. The hard stop let’s you regroup and darn if you don’t come up with alternative ideas! And such was the case with me, where I was able to come up with the answer, while not thinking about it, when my brain had a moment to catch up!
This is why it can be so useful for a bit of time off during the day, a short break or a walk, even staring into space and NOT thinking. The mind is still working on the issue, in the background, and then WHAM! The answer presents itself.
Balance is about working through issues, while doing something else. The brain is a wonderful and complicated thing, don’t underestimate it!
Regards,
DA
Thank you Tim!