Paul Castain's Blog

The Christmas Failure Inventory!

Posted December 21, 2013

I often reflect on John Lennon’s words “So this is Christmas and what have you done” and feel a tremendous sense of “Not a damned thing John” but he keeps singing and the world keeps spinning and . . .

I begin an inventory of things that I haven’t done, don’t have and sprinkle in a whole bunch of “coulda, woulda, shouldas” for good measure.

That type of inner dialogue can be good for a kick in the ass if followed by action but more often than not, its fodder for a sh*tty mood.

The funny thing about holidays, birthdays and the like is that they are mile markers where we might look at what we don’t have instead of what we DO have.

2 years ago, I allowed myself to take a failure inventory then saw the light a week or so before Christmas.

I suddenly remembered that at that exact moment, one year prior, my wife had been diagnosed with breast cancer. For a period of time we didn’t know what would happen, how bad it was but fortunately, we caught it in time.

A year later I found myself much like the little kid who got the bike under the tree but was pissed off it wasn’t the color he wanted.

I didn’t let just one thing disappoint me, I let several and here’s why.

I think the things that piss us off and disappoint us are lonely. They can’t exist without company in the form of us taking a failure inventory of everything that isn’t going well.

There’s always something to be grateful for . . . sometimes we just need to look a little harder.

Peace!

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Paul Castain
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