Tucked away in a safe place within the walls of my heart, is a vision of my Father, Christmas Eve some 26 years ago.
I can vividly see the look upon his face because it was a look that transcended all expression. It was beyond gratitude or joy and it was as if he were recording our faces, our voices and acts to be filed deep within his soul. It was as if he had something to say, but couldn’t express it. I didn’t know what it was but I felt it to be profound and deep!
It was that Christmas that I learned something that I have since referred to as “The Gift”!
12 days later a family meeting was called by my Father and he obviously had something on his mind. With a heavy heart he shared with us that before he was released from the hospital ( a few days before Christmas) he was told that the cancer had spread and he was given 3 months to live. He explained to us that he didn’t want to ruin our holiday and wanted to give us the 12 days of Christmas.
That day a light bulb went off for me as I realized that on Christmas Eve, my Father was drinking it all in for the last time. Less than 3 months later, my Father passed away.
So let me ask the question for you . . . where’s “The Gift” in that? There are in fact many if you would do me the honor of reading on.
The first is a constant reminder that if my Dad could keep himself from wearing devastating news on his sleeve, perhaps I can keep whatever BS I’m going through off of mine! And let’s not to pretend that we don’t all have a little of that BS via the boss, the idiot who just stole the parking spot, the kids, the wife, the bills and for the “Bah Humbug” crowd . . . the season!
Whenever I’m guilty of wearing those things on my sleeve, perhaps I’m also guilty of getting in the way of someone else’s joy?Something for us all to think about next time we care to offer someone an invite to our pity party. There might be a “gift” in understanding that one!
The other “gift” is savoring the moment, involving all of your senses and living the holiday (and dare I say, our lives) as if this will be the last one. Someday we’ll be right!
I believe there is also a “gift” in catching yourself enjoying that moment. Don’t they call it the “present” for a reason? Personally, I think it sucks when we are enjoying a moment solely in retrospect! I triple dog dare you to catch yourself in the act of enjoying your life!
Gratitude is yet another gift that I have taken away from that event. Gratitude that I saw the moment when my Dad was savoring his last Christmas. In that moment, I was able to share something very profound . . . a moment when someone who had come to the end of their journey was counting their blessings!
Additional “gifts” come from that knowledge too. All of us have an expiration date. If you knew you were on your final 3 months, would you be filled with regret or gratitude? Perhaps there’s even another “gift” in starting, right now in positioning ourselves for a “regret free” life!
There’s still more, I promise!
If we can’t embrace gratitude, how about refusing to allow resentment to enter our lives? You know, not even once during my Dad’s final days did I get a vibe of bitterness that his life would be cut short at 65. Instead of anger that Christmas, Dad was thankful.
“The Gift” is also an opportunity for us to become selfishly selfless. It means finding a need, thinking beyond ourselves and giving unconditionally. How?
Giving of encouragement. Never, ever underestimate the power of giving someone the ability to take another round!
Giving of our time, our patience and our genuine interest!
Giving of our prayers . . . who doesn’t need a little good press with their maker?
The “gift” of forgiveness as well as the “gift” to remove our egos long enough to ask someone else to forgive us!
And in true “Charity begins at home” fashion . . . how about the gift of forgiving yourself for your shortcomings?
The final “gift” is the ability to take our own sad stories, challenges and speed bumps and somehow take a lesson from them. In that moment, you may have something that becomes “a gift that keeps giving”!
With that, I want to thank you all for my “gift” . . . the opportunity to share something personal and profound. I share it with the hope that it will breed numerous gifts for you!
Please take a moment to savor and celebrate the many gifts that surround you! They are there my friend . . . sometimes we just have to look harder!
Oh, and before I forget . . . Dad, thank you for “the gift” . . . I have never forgotten it!
Wishing you and your family blessings of peace, joy and more “gifts” than could ever fit underneath your tree!
Happy Holidays from a humbled and grateful
Paul Castain
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Paul – thank you for sharing your story! A much needed reminder for all!
Thank you Kristi!
Happy Holidays!
Paul – words of wisdom, thanks for sharing – it really makes you take a good hard look in the mirror
Thank YOU Charmaine!
Happy Holidays to you and yours!
Merry Christmas Paul! Thank you for sharing. I am also thankful for your gift – it touched my heart. Keep on sharing.
Thank you Jill I really appreciate that!
Merry Christmas Jill!
Paul,
Thanks for the reminder. We often forget the things that are really the most important.
Merry Christmas.
Marc
I agree Marc.
Thank you and Merry Christmas!
Thanks for sharing such a heartfelt story Paul. He showed you how to be fully in the moment, enjoying it because you may not pass this way again, and showed you how to think of others instead of being preoccupied with your own situation. Rare. An amazing gift.
Thank you Larry!
Merry Christmas!
Hey Paul,
I like that you share that with us every year!! I never tire of that story for your father sounds like a wonderful man.
Merry Christmas Paul to you and your family!!
Cheers,
Larry
Paul,
Thank You for this gift.
Thank You.
Paul, sounds like your dad was a kind and thoughtful man who would have enjoyed this quote from Epictetus:”He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”
Thanks for sharing such a touching story, Paul. Merry Christmas!
Thank you Paul for sharing this story. It sounds like you really loved your father and visa versa. I think God wanted you to feel his moment and to learn more about the importance of living in the present.
I think a lot of us leave our guard down and whine about all the bad things that are happening to us with our customers. If you project yourself with the poor me image, they will quit buying from you because they have enough of their own problems to cope with. I learned this the hard way once until one of my customers pointed this out to me. They told me complaining about my misfortunes was a way of showing weakness and it was projecting me as a loser. Customer’s buy from winners not losers. From that day forward I promised myself I would stop doing this. No mater how I felt, when a customer asked me how things were going I answered just great. Eventually, this positive spirit rubbed off on my customers and my sales jumped up. I learned to focus on them rather than on myself. I asked them how they were doing and how their business was going. They began to share some of their secrets and this helped us to form strong friendships and a strong bond. This also helped me to discover their pain and gave me an opportunity to help them. Even if helping them did not generate a sale, I enjoyed just helping them.
Your father was a good man and he wanted you to know he loved you with just the touch of his eyes. This was truly a gift from God and now you are passing this gift onto others.
Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Thanks, Paul! Beautiful story!. Happy Holidays to you and your family and a most wonderful New Year!
Thank you Nancy!
Happy holidays to you and yours!
Paul you’ve graciously gifted this story before and while I’m familiar with it, I find it a truly inspirational reminder of what this season is all about. How important it is to savor every moment we’re given on this big blue planet for tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. Thank you for sharing it once again this year.
I hope you and yours have a very Happy and Blessed Christmas,
Beth
This one always makes me cry. At the same time it is a quick kick to the butt that we all need from time to time. Thanks for sharing Paul!
Thanks Pete and every year I hesitate because I think you guys are sick of the story!
Paul – that one hit me my friend. I believe this is my dad’s last Christmas. This has really brought my siblings and I together and brought us all closer to dad. Unfortunately they are closer to you in terms of geography than they are to me, but I’ve been up to visit 3 times in the last 6 months (probably more than the last 5 years combined), and heading back this month; we are counting our blessings…thanks Paul.