So, if you’ve been living on planet earth for the bulk of your life, you’ve probably heard the one about . . .
“Don’t say ‘but’ because it negates everything that you said before it”
Example: “Ozzy I think you had some righteous tunes over the last few decades, but . . “
In other words “Ozzy, I really didn’t mean that remark about righteous tunes because this next statement is really the truthful one. Oh and brace yourself rocker because its gonna be a groin kick!”
OK, so now that we got the group “Duh Paul” out of the way . . . what’s an aspiring rock star to do?
Glad you asked!
1) Don’t hide your “but” by using the word “however”. However is basically a “but” with a nicer ass . . . YOU for thinking you didn’t just negate everything with that “however” you just wielded!
2) Consider pausing between acknowledgment and counterpoint: “Ozzy I think you had some righteous tunes over the last few decades (pause) I just think biting a head off a Bat is a poor dietary choice” I think that’s something even Ozzy could sink his teeth into!
3) Consider pausing and having a “challenge” “Ozzy I think you had some righteous tunes over the last few decades (pause) the challenge I have is that when you bite heads off of Bats it upsets the delicate ecosystem here in NY . . . where Bats play such a vital role”
So next time you find yourself in disagreement . . . do it more agreeably by having a nicer “BUT”
Paul Castain coaches aspiring sales rock stars to new levels of sales rock stardom. Click HERE if you’re ready to turn your amp up to 11 and be heard!
Thanks Uncle Paul. I am guilty of the occasional “however”. Difference between a weak statement and a strong one!
Me too buddy 🙂
Thanks for stopping by!
Gotta go….have to work my “but” off today!
I might delete this comment and end my blog this way so everyone can think I thought of this awesome freakin line LA 🙂
Thanks!
Count me in for “however”. Anything that produces a nicer a$$ is tops in my books.
Sir Mixalot won’t agree with you Paul because he likes BIG BUTS – lol.
Cheers,
Chris
I believe Sir Mixalot because he’s often said “And I cannot lie” so he must be telling the truth Chris.
Thanks 🙂
Excellent. I’ll use this! I am a big fan of the impact a well timed pause can make. Sadly, I sooo often forget to use it. Never considered using it this way. Thanks. I learned something new.
Great post Paul, I’m guilty of using however more than I should. I’ll be more conscious of it now as I think of Ozzie and his bats!
Thinking about Ozzy and his bats is key Lisa . . . rock on! 🙂
Whenever you are tempted to say “but”, say “and” instead.
Whenver you really disagree, instead of saying “Hey, Dumb__ ….”, say “Help me understand …..”
This is the only article I’ve ever read with that title that never once mentions squats or lunges. Thank God! Sentence structure is so much easier to work on. 🙂
Paul, nice suggestion. I just read “Difficult Conversations,” in which the authors talk about taking “the ‘and’ stance.” Saying “and” instead of “but” suggests that you are adding an alternative to there point of view instead of contradicting it. When I try this in actual conversation, it often comes off as awkward. I like your idea of using “The challenge for me is…” I’m going to try it.
Paul,
Always good to learn something so simple yet impactful. I am guilty as charged when it comes to the “however” trap. “The challenge for me is…” a nice alternative. Thanks for sharing and enjoy the weekend!
Greg
Thanks Greg!
Wishing you a fantastic weekend!