There are parts of our life that (for whatever reason) we keep sealed shut.
Today, I want to share a few, very personal things with you with the hope that it will inspire you in some way.
From the time I was 14 until I was 16, I was bullied by a kid who enjoyed humiliating me.
I was an easy target because I was scrawny and didn’t fight back.
When I was 15, I chose to do something about it and began lifting weights and learning how to fight from a former navy SEAL.
In those days, I couldn’t gain weight if you strapped it to me so my progress was slow.
I felt like giving up a million times but on the other hand, I had reached my threshold and knew something had to be done.
The summer before my senior year in high school, it all clicked. I had gained 30 much needed pounds, I was built and if I do say so myself, I learned how to fight really well. I know this because one day my bully showed up to humiliate me in front of my friends. I guess he missed me since it had been at least a year since we had seen each other. I put an end to our ordeal that night and beat the hell out of him in front of his girlfriend.
My guess is that he didn’t get laid that night but I’m digressing.
Meanwhile (and please stay with me) the band I was playing in broke up and I had an awkward decision to make. “Do I stay in the music class (we all decided to take together) or do I avoid the awkwardness and drop it?”
Much like the other bully I faced, I decided to face this one too and took the class.
They did their best to try and make me feel uncomfortable but I wasn’t going to be the one to leave.
One day, my music teacher approached me and asked the long haired, 17 year old version of Uncle Paul to do the unthinkable . . .Join the school musical.
Time out: The guys I ran with didn’t sing in high school musicals, we broke the balls of kids who sang in high school musicals.
Having found my balls I agreed to do it.
The first day of rehearsal, a really hot girl walked into the room to make an announcement on behalf of the director.
Time out: Having always been the scrawny kid, my inner voice gave me a million reason NOT to try and strike up a conversation with her. Oh, and did I mention that I’ve always been an introvert?
Once again, I saw a “bully” that needed it’s ass kicked and I approached her and did my best version of “small talk”.
Surprisingly enough, she didn’t tell me to get lost.
We’d say hi to each other in the hall, and chat during rehearsals, but still my inner voice, was telling me that I was still that kid who used to get his ass kicked.
One day, I found my courage and asked her out.
As a matter of fact, I asked her out, 33 years ago today on March 7, 1983 and without a doubt, this has been the greatest sale of my life, because I married Laura 5 years later and we’ve been together ever since.
When I reflect back on that day, I realize that it would have never happened if all the other things didn’t happen.
The bully helped me to become strong enough to defeat him
Defeating him gave me the courage to face an uncomfortable year with my former band mates in a music class
Taking the music class introduced me to a music teacher who offered me a part in the school musical
Having the courage to participate in the musical helped me to meet Laura.
ALL of the above helped a shy kid, with a history of losing, find the courage, to ask out the woman who became his soulmate.
You know, life is a funny thing.
Sometimes the very obstacles we need to overcome . . .
Help us to find the strength to become something even better.
Peace!
Awesome stuff Paul, thanks for sharing!
Thank you Simon!
Paul:
Great share (as usual). Two things surprised me.
One: you used to have hair. 🙂
Two: you mentioned you were an introvert.
I’m learning more and more about how wrong I was for a long time to assume that the best salespeople must all be extroverts. Susan Cain’s book on the Power of Introverts coined a new term “ambivert”. This is a person who is introverted by nature, but can be extroverted when the situation calls for it.
Turns out I’m an ambivert and I’d wager you are as well.
Thanks for your generous leadership and counsel to TSP and all of sales nation!
TR
Love this post, Paul. Very inspiring! I come away from reading this with a couple of reminders: Often we carry that bully around with us 24/7. It’s that damned inner voice that constantly nags us about our failures and shortfalls. THAT’S the true bully. And he needs his ass kicked regularly until he cowers in a dark recess forever. Secondly, real progress is cumulative and it takes time. It’s not sexy and people pay no attention until a ton of the work has already been done.
For some odd reason, I’m ready to charge into the week now and kick my own ass. Thank you!
And the best part is that your inner ass kicker was always there Jess!
Go get ’em!
Wow Paul, what an awesome story (and by the way thanks for making my mascara smear on a Monday morning – sheesh, sniff sniff. At least it’s close enough to spring and I can use the old “allergy” excuse). Truly inspirational. I’ve never referred to those voices that tell me I’m not good enough as a bully per se, but rather my inner demons. I like the bully analogy a lot better, it seems infinitely easier to beat up a bully. You’re so right about life being funny. Today’s challenge may very well turn out to be tomorrow’s HUGE blessing.
Thanks for sharing,
Beth
Thank you Beth. I can neither confirm nor deny that I might have gotten a tad teary eyed writing it 🙂
Here’s to beating up our inner bully!