So there you are scrolling through your contacts and suddenly it hits you . . .
Tom unfriended you!
Imagine that . . . you of all people . . . unfriended!
You know for a fact that you’ve done nothing wrong and you’ve tried your best to be nice to Tom but Tom leaves anyway . . .
And leaves no cab fare on the night table!
Bastard!
So what do you do?
Do you immediately email Tom and give him a piece of your mind?
Do you email to find out what atrocity occurred that led him to unfriend you . .
Or do you simply move on?
Quite honestly, I understand that some feel this is a learning opportunity for us but I disagree.
You are in essence letting things (as my friend Dr Evil says) “Get Weird”
Nobody owes you an explanation nor do you owe anyone an explanation.
Quick Confession Time: When I first started blogging I had my subscription settings set up so that I would get an alert when someone unsubscribed. I have no explanation for why I allowed myself to get to this level of obsessed.
One day, I noticed that someone I knew unsubscribed and I was pissed.
I confronted him and guess what . . . it got freakin weird!
Totally unnecessary!
The other weird situation happens on Linkedin when someone emails you because you looked at their profile.
They say something along the lines of “I couldn’t help noticing that you were checking me out . . . see anything you like baby?” Come on . . . did I get you for a second?
Seriously, their email goes something like this “I noticed you looked at my profile and was wondering if you had any questions”
Don’t get me wrong . . . its harmless and friendly and even an attempt at starting a question . . . but once again
IT GETS WEIRD!
I mean it reminds of when you misdial a call and quickly hang up only to get a call back from the Caller ID Gestapo (here’s the transcript from one of mine)
Them: “Uh did you call?”
Me: “Yep”
Them: “Can I help you with something?”
Me: “Nope. Wanna know why?”
Them: “Um OK”
Me: “Because I would’ve completed the call if I felt otherwise”
Any who, I’m digressing big time!
Confession #2: There was this woman looking at my profile every day for like a month. It was starting to freak me out because I know the effect I can have on women of the opposite sex 🙂 I wrote her a friendly email asking if something was up and then she told me that she just really liked my content and enjoyed visiting my profile.
Once again . . . It not only got weird, but I felt like a bit of a pecker!
So here’s the deal, there are times when we need to confront.
There are also times when there is a learning experience if we simply ask but . .
There are way too many times we can go from WEIRD to WEIRDER!
My advice is to simply move on!
For those of you who would like to kick up your Linkedin skills a notch or three, I will be conducting a webinar “Networking Socially Through Linkedin” It will be 45 minutes of strategies, tips and (of course) some fun along the way. Make sure you sign up today!
Hi Paul,
So glad your experiences are WEIRDER than mine. Have not been cyber stalked on LinkedIn (yet). At least you can share it with us, while smiling.
You wait Ric . . . “Weird” will show up in your inbox too 🙂
Thanks for stopping by!
Paul,
this is a great post. it is funny how we can go crazy over people defriending us and how we can take it personally. Rather silly when you think about it. thanks for the reminder.
You’re 100% right and I proudly raise my hand as someone who is trying to get better with it all!
Thanks Kevin!
Women of the opposite sec 🙂 That’s awesome. I swear I was getting something out of your post, but I have to admit I just crawled out of bed. You had me laughing so hard that I got over my coffee craving. Great post as always Paul.
Always happy to help Jason 🙂
Thanks!
I have a website in which I send out financial information on a regular basis. Occasionally I get someone opting out. I send a quick email saying I am sorry to see them go. Please retain my contact information for your future use when you need a top notch financial investment firm. A fair number of times I get and explanation that they get too many emails each day but save their info for the future if I find something I think they might like or need.
Awesome post, Paul! Thanks for the laugh-out-loud moment I thoroughly needed… just love your style my friend!! (OK, wait, it’s not weird to say that, is it? 😉 …) Happy Friday – and enjoy the glorious fall New England weather that’s apparently in store for us East Coasters this weekend!
Virtually Yours,
Anne-Marie
That wasn’t weird it was too cool to be weird 🙂
Rock on!
Thanks for the post, Paul. I really enjoyed it on two levels: 1) I have been feeling guilty for not accepting a friend request that I just don’t want to get involved in, and 2) “Women of the opposite sex”, as opposed to women of the same sex? I was rolling when I read that! Thanks, again!
I’m glad you liked that one Diana 🙂
Thanks!
Thanks for a great post today Paul! I contemplate way too much in life when it’s too short for that…like you say just move on!
Enjoy the pretty Leaves that are abundant in New England (use to work for a New England Co. for over 8 years and they would always have a sales meeting in the Fall)
We are supposed to have low to mid 80’s on the left coast this weekend too!
Cheers,
Larry
Agreed . . . and this time of year certainly is beautiful in this neck of the woods.
Enjoy the rest of the weekend my friend!
Your a genius!!! I love it!! “I confronted him and guess what . . . it got freakin weird!”
Thank for the kind words and the kind Tweet on Twitter Matt!
Rock on!
Enjoyed the post & comments at the end of my hectic week!
Thanks Donna . . . Cheers!
This was good, funny for things to be funny there has to be a resonating truth. I had an experience on Twitter with a man hitting on me which at my matronly stage of life was a bit weird. I just didn’t follow him and didn’t respond after I got it. Also on Twitter I don’t really understand why some people follow me, but I just thank them and don’t really pay much attention. But I have to ask this, is it common to have women followers whose profile photos are downright sexy? Is that the difference between Twitter and LinkedIn? Sometimes I’m a little embarrassed and confused. I always thank everyone for following me even when I have no clue why they would.
I don’t think its common. I still think its odd.
I can tell you that on Twitter, you will come across this but 9 out of 10 times they have the pictures there to distract the scam they are involved in.
I haven’t run across it too many times but its there.
Thanks Elizabeth.
Paul, great post. This subject has been on my mind awhile — since I decided to break down the wall between my personal and sales lives. Since doing so, I’ve discovered many of my professional contacts are quite happy keeping things separate, thank you very much.
I’ve had a few occasions when I’ve friended long-time customers/friends on Facebook and not been accepted. I felt kind of weird about it for awhile; kinda like the elephant in the room. But I’ve since moved on, figuring they have their own reasons for not blurring their social/work lives.
On second thought, maybe they don’t like me???? Nawwwwww, that can’t be it!
There is no way people couldn’t like cool people like you and Jess 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and Happy Friday to you!
Some very candid comments here Paul! I love it. Thanks as always for the insight.
Thanks Tim!
My pleasure!
Paul,
I don’t pay attention to whether or not someone “unfriends” me or removes me as a connection on LinkedIn. I got over concerning myself with it. When you mentioned being pissed about a friend unsubscribing to your blog, I could relate. Back in the early days of my email marketing, I would become annoyed if friends/colleagues unsubscribed from the newsletter. Then I realized that it wasn’t personal and that they were actually giving me a gift. I want a subscriber base of people who find the information interesting and valuable to them. If it doesn’t suit their interests or maybe they are just too overwhelmed with other information, then by all means, unsubscribe.
As for the comment about reaching out to someone if they view your LinkedIn profile…I respect your comments and do take a slightly different approach. If someone has viewed my profile who looks to be a potential client, I may indeed reach out to them:).
Thanks Barb!