56 thoughts on “Gravitating Towards or Retreating From Experts?”

1. Hi Paul

   Once I come across the content of an online expert I will read their content for around 10 articles/posts or for a month whichever comes sooner. The big thing for me that answers both of your questions at the same time is do they just talk theory or do they give me pratical ideas that I can take away and use in the real world. The other thing that really annoys me are the experts that tell you one thing but do completely the opposite when dealing with me.

   1. Great input Mike . . . Your final point about telling you one thing and doing the opposite is a huge turn off of mine as well.

      Thanks for taking the time to respond . . . I really appreciate it!

2. Good questions, Paul.

   1) I Gravitate towards those who demonstrate, not proclaim, that they are expert in their field.  This takes time. I’m skeptical and won’t be influenced by a couple of comments that could have been copy/pasted from almost anywhere.

   2) I disconnect when I feel that they are expert in nothing more than self promotion.  Telling me you are an expert is meaningless.  I’m from NYC, but I have a Missouri attitude. Show me.

   1. Noted and agreed Mr Zazeela . . . Thank you!

3. I look for these qualities in all my on-going education pursuits, on-line, in-person or on-paper:
   1) Enlighten me. Tell me something I don’t know, or show how to do something I know I should be doing

   2) Humor me. (Which you never fail to do). If you can’t humor me, move me emotionally. I am passionate about what I do. I need to feel your passion if I’m going to listen.

   1. Cheryl,

      You’ve touched on such a key component in item #2. I feel its important to work the emotions of the audience and not just for the sake of making people cry or laugh or even providing a good old fashioned “emotional roller coaster” . . . its how you break through and reach people!

      Thank you for helping me articulate that!

4. Hi Paul! 

   I hope your weekend was excellent! Come on, no naming names!? Geez, you’re no fun! 🙂

   I’m really with Marc on this about the whole “expert in self-promotion” thing. Nothing has made me roll my eyes more or given me a better laugh when I’ve realized that I really should be the expert, especially when I don’t think I’m an expert in anything (except perhaps in survival.) 😉
     
   Seriously, I can say that I initially gravitate towards the idea of an expert; however, more often than not, I don’t feel they live up the title or offer the value they claim. I do have a few, and I mean on about three fingers few, who I do rely on and have learned a tremendous amount. But should this considered a revelation? It almost always comes down to the 80/20 rule, or even more like 90/10 nowadays, in countless areas.

   I’m glad you brought this up because I think about this a lot. I feel the same way about journalism and “writers” – just because you have a blog or some entity solicits writers doesn’t make you a writer – there’s more to it, a lot more, especially when you’re staking that “expert” status.

   Thanks for getting my brain clicking today Paul! And … you make me want to sell something, so that’s exactly what I’m going to do!! You’re like morning coffee and bright morning sunshine, ahhhh ….!! Thank you!

   Have a safe, faboo week!!

   Much kindness,

   Elena

   1. Elena, 
      I don’t think I’ve ever read a comment from you, watched one of your videos or read a piece of your content where your energy didn’t jump right out at me . . . you seriously have to keep doing that because it energizes your audience.Back to my topic (which I have just taken the scenic route to) I think expert status should be designated by one’s audience instead of the ever tiring self designated title.Do you agree?Thanks for stopping by my friend!

      1. You’re too kind Paul and I’m grateful!
          
         Absolutely – I totally agree that audience should dictate, not the title … eek! If only more could get that through their ego! How often are we led down one path only to find that we’re totally lost and feel duped in some form – just add water, instant discredit.

         Now see, I totally dig your blog because you’re rock solid (my highest compliment!) – you write, you talk, I’ll pay attention!

         Blue skies,
          
         Elena

5. Paul, There is a distinct and easy to spot difference between an expert like yourself who is comfortable and confident that offering tons of free and excellent content will lead to revenue generation from new customers and greater revenue from existing customers and those who believe that loud self promotion and a proclamation of their expert status will somehow generate income.
   So I guess to answer your questions directly… I gravitate towards those who seem really interested in helping me and away from those who seem interested in helping themselves.
   Thanks for all that you do! I appreciate learning from the Jedi Master!

6. Hi, Paul:

   I look for someone who offers common sense approaches that add a new twist, offering to solve “old problems” by digging in and sharing what they have learned/seen/experienced in similar situations.

   I move away from those “experts” who start to believe their own press clippings; the change in tone and attitude become obvious that it is all about self promotion.

   Thanks for your efforts to share all the dimensions, in helping all of us to see some new and not so new perspectives, including sharing the real Paul.

   Randy

   1. Thank you Randy . . . I’m always happy to share the real Paul.

7. I think someone who demonstrates that he or she is a professional, not just an expert. (Thinking Pressfield’s The War of Art idea of Pro)

   As a matter of fact, I almost prefer to follow someone who is honestly on a growth journey and shares helpful info on how improvements are made over an ‘expert’ with a shallow resume.

   While I totally don’t mind and even appreciate course and product and affiliate offers, I do sometimes get annoyed when that is the steady diet or message.

   1. I tend to gravitate more towards those who are on that grow journey as well . . . I feel its easier to relate to.

      I remember studying with certain guitar teachers years ago who where quite good but lousy at relating what I was going through.

      Thanks Brett!

8. Towards: Believability & sincerity

   Retreat: Lack of above and the appearance of/perception of lack of integrity (which I realize is completely subjective).

   1. Agreed!

      Thank you Michael!

9. What makes me gravitate towards an online expert?  purity.  If said expert is pure about their intentions (sharing good content and positively impacting others) and not trying to sell me something then I become interested.  
   What makes me disconnect & retreat?  lack of (good) content shared.  displayed lack of integrity/ethics. The expert is too busy selling him/herself to interact in online communities.  By the time it’s hard to tell the expert from spam, I’m already LONG gone!

   1. I feel this is one of the biggest mistakes people make in Social Media Chester.

      They use all their efforts as a glorified cold call while providing zero value.

      Thanks for your thoughts!

10. TOWARDS – Those who motivate / inspire….those with fresh ‘outside of the box’ ideas…we can all buy books but on-line experts who are good get followings and recommendations. 
    AWAY FROM – In the UK to be honest we sometimes find US ‘buddies’ slightly over the top for us though (particularly in sales)….honesty is the best policy….but we love you Paul so keep it up.

    1. Thank you and needless to say I love you too 🙂

11. 1. Information that is new to me, practical, and useful for helping me work in my industry better.
    2. Recycled thoughts that are purely theoretical, without a hint of something new to say. 

    1. Agreed!

       Thank you Julia!

12. 1) I gravitate towards someone with wit, humor, and down to earth perspective. Someone who demonstrates in their posts that they have empathy for people, and an open mind. I subscribe to you, for the above, and because you give me meaningful things to think about, lessons to take away…and all done with a POSITIVE, upbeat…”go out and get em” tone. We all need more of that. Keeps me going. I have sometimes read a witty person’s blog/ramblings for a time, but never for long… ultimately, I end up finding their monologue self serving. By contrast, you have a conversation with your audience. I appreciate that.

    2) I distrust anyone who announces (without humor), within the first sentence (or repeatedly in the first paragraph) that they are an expert. They’ve just flashed me their badge that says “Me and my ego think I am great”. Often it tends to degenerate into something that can be summed up as “Why don’t you listen while I preen and um, pet myself.”  No thanks, you can do that just fine on your own. My presence is obviously, not needed. (Feel free to not post this one if that second to last sentence is too direct.) : )

    1. I wouldn’t dare change a thing with this awesome response Jena . . . It rocks just fine . . . as is 🙂

       Thank you for the kind words about having a conversation with my audience . . . that’s something I strive for and feel its a key part of building community.

       Much appreciation!

13. 1) If I don’t get what I need from your words, give me some facts or numbers to prove what you say.

    2) Bore me with facts or numbers

    1. So give facts, numbers etc to illustrate a point but just don’t go over the top with it?

       Thanks for your input!

14. I look for people who provide worth while information on the subjects that are important to my business.

    I disconnect with them when it becomes a forum for advertising their company instead of educating the audience.

    1. Me too Gary!

       Thank you!

15. Why do I gravitate towards an online expert? Within a short time of reading a few blog posts or listening to some podcasts, I just know if they are somebody that I would like to align myself with. I quickly feel a connection to them and their work. It is easy to tell when their primary goal is to provide value to people’s lives. They are obviously here to help me get closer to achieving the goals that I am working towards.
     
    They are real, honest, and provide content that keeps me asking the question “when am I going to see more from them”? Humour is a fantastic way to hold my attention. As well, putting things in to perspective in a way that I have never seen before is a nice spin on the run of the mill content that is so prevalent on the internet. Last point, simply – I see some similarities to myself in them. We all like to connect with people that we like, know and trust. If I feel like I “know you” only after following your work for a short time online, that is a very good thing in my books.
     
    What makes me retreat or disconnect from an online expert?  For me, the real frustration is when the use the theory of “lets throw a bunch of stuff against the wall and see what sticks”. What do I mean by that?  Their #1 goal appears to be to try a bunch of different techniques and systems and just hope that their customer buy something.  There is no real connection to their customer base, and they are probably using a generic website template that they believe is their ticket to early retirement!
     
    I hate the hook of “look at all the big houses, cars and toys that I have accumulated. Follow my program exactly, and you can live the life of luxury like me!”  This is an overused strategy, and has certainly lost its luster over time.
     
    This may sound weird, but I also have a disconnect with experts who make everything look too professional, almost perfect. Their websites/blogs etc makes me get the cold sweats, and fell like I am back in school. If I wanted to go back to school, I would enroll again! I want real, I want raw, I want to relate to people who have been through struggles in their lives similar to me. If you try to come across as perfect, we all know that is not possible!

    1. A very well thought out and thorough response Tim.

       I agree with your points particularly the idea of “perfect” I too enjoy that raw “kick ass garage band” vibe a good blog gives off.

       Thanks for the input Tim . . . I always appreciate your contributions to this blog!

       1. Thanks Paul! I appreciate your kind words. Yeah, I have been studying enough blogs/websites etc for that past 2 years, so you start to know what works for you and what does not of course!

          And you are more than welcome. Always enjoy what you are putting out there. Have a great week.

16. Gravitate Towards: Great content given in plain speech at regular intervals.
    Disconnect and Retreat: Being talked down to, filling too much of their communication with industry speak or technical terms, too many or not enough posts (more than once a day on average, or less than once a week).

17. Good Morning Paul,
    1) I gravitate to someone too see if they are truly and expert by checking their content, most of the time they are sending content but I see absolutely no value in it, so…(2) I usually disconnect once I see that they are looking to get you on their email list and start constantly trying to sell me week after week.

    Hope it helps my friend.

18. ” I gravitate towards those who seem really interested in helping me and away from those who seem interested in helping themselves.” < I love this Bob . . . Well said.
    Thank you for the kind words too . . . I really appreciate it!

19. 1. Someone who speaks my language and has walked in my shoes with demonstrated success. Someone who can break down in simple terms what they did to achieve that success and not a bunch of “theory”. I also respect and therefore gravitate towards people who will admit they don’t know everything and share the things that did NOT work and why. I guess it breaks down for me to common sense, humility, and a smidge of courtesy and humor don’t hurt either.

    2. I tend to not follow those who simply repeat other people’s ideas and work and seem to be doing little more than blowing their own horn. I would also include people who seem to not understand that times have changed and what worked 20 years ago may not work today. I hesitate to follow people who haven’t spent time “in the trenches” for so many years that they don’t know what it is like to sell in the world of email, twitter, QR codes, linked in, facebook, etc.

20. Toward an “expert”: a topic that interests or concerns me, their experience in the field in which they are offering advice
    Disconnect: when the information is poorly presented, has spelling and grammar mistakes, and offers the same old same old without even a new twist…makes me NOT want to revisit their site or follow their offerings again.

21. I suppose I look at two things: content and connections. When it’s all sound and done, what is important is whether or not the “expert” offers sound advice. Does it make sense? Just as in SEO, in consulting, content is king. I would rather get good advice from a HS dropout than bad advice from a Harvard MBA. Determining whether any given content is worthy, though, can bedtime and energy consuming. A quicker way to weed out poor “experts” is to find out who they associate with. Expertise is not created in a vacuum (sp?). True experts surround themselves with other experts.

    1. I agree with you Doug about sound advice and one’s background. One of the best sales lessons I ever learned was from a server on a Carnival Cruise who dropped out of school after Sixth grade!

       Thanks for stopping by Doug! Its always appreciated!

       1. So what was the Carnival Cruise server’s lesson, Paul?  Or have you covered it already in an earlier post?  Sounds like a good story. 🙂

22. Hi Paul,

    For one, a post like this gets my attention. I have an almost automatic attraction (in a professional, manly way 🙂 ) to someone who is teaching, yet remains teachable.

    The other thing that I really watch is whether the “expert” is practising what they preach. I mean don’t tell me how to use Twitter for example, and then Tweet a bunch of spam promoting yourself every 2 weeks. I am gone. I don’t want to be told, as Marc said, “Show Me!”

    The other thing is approachability, why would I want anything to do with somebody too important to answer a question or respond to a tweet? Social Media to me is all about dealing with real people.

    Lastly, it has already been mentioned earlier, I instantly lose respect for someone who is just saying, I have all the answers, do what I did and you can aspire to be as good as me.

    Have an awesome week Paul!

    1. First thanks for clarifying about the professional manly way, I dig women Lorne and its important that I put that out there too 🙂

       Seriously . . . The practicing what they preach thing is non negotiable for me.

       “Social Media to me is all about dealing with real people” . . . you get a serious gold star for that one Lorne. I love that comment (again in a I like women type of way)

       Thanks again Lorne. I always appreciate your comments here and on Twitter and of course our Linkedin group too!

23. Paul, for me it’s all about how much the expert cares that I care enough to turn to them for their expertise. When the expert doesn’t care about me, how can I care about what he/she has to offer?

    1. Good one Cheri.

       I believe Social Media has made this absolute requirement of any expert these days!

24. Excellent Content and thought leadership drive me toward experts.

    Constant twittering and retweeting seem to drive me away the fastest followed by poor content.

    I was drawn to you because of the fertility of your thoughts, excellent content and focus on your particular audience.

    I have also been a bit amazed that many BLOGs I read that have excellent content receive so few comments and discussions.

    There was an excellent editorial in the Sunday NYT regarding the fact that we are so busy chatting and following and socializing that there is very little great creative thinking going on today.

    Well…that’s more than you asked for…..

    Keep up your excellent work…

    1. I share your amazement about some blogs having excellent content but so few comments . . . In some cases its the author’s fault for never acknowledging their comments. Sooner or later people pack up and take their comments to where they are acknowledged and appreciated.

       Not always the case, but I’ve seen it happen way too many times!

       Thanks Todd . . . its always nice to see your comments and I believe you and I go way back to when I had this blog on the old website (blogspot)

25. 1) Compelling information, answers to tough questions with new ideas I can mold to make my own. Especially their willingness to engage one on one and offering real world factoids not a rehash of the latest NY best seller.
    2) Those that are only in it for the money and place you on their “prospecting list” as soon as you show up on their radar screen they pounce. Perfect example from this past spring. Attended a free seminar in Boston on networking from this so called expert offering a very specific seminar she would share her knowledge to help those that attend. (insert your computer error sound here) The attendees (over 100) instead were subject to “umm high, wow look at this turn out, I wrote a book and I’m your speaker, don’t forget to fill out this form to win a free signed copy of my book. Did I tell you I wrote a book? You can buy it. I’ve learned so much from networking, it’s in my book …..you can buy my book….Networking can be good for business..did I tell you I wrote a book?………” half left as I did. False advertising. Now here is the kicker. She emailed me ask how I enjoyed her seminar and I replied with the facts. Guess she didn’t read my review because I just received a new email from her asking if I would like to pay big $$ for one of her 4 hour training seminars. After I stopped laughing I replied please remove me from you list. Now I attended a second seminar at same location, different subject, different person and it was great. In fact we connected after and added each other to our networks.

    1. Don’t even get me started on free seminars that turn out to be glorified infomercials . . . Check please!

       Thanks Patrick!

26. I like Marc’s comment. I’m a transplant to Missouri, so I agree – Show me. Furthermore, I appreciate someone who is generous and not only willing to share if they are getting paid. And I like to build a relationship with people. So much depends on whether or not we are a good fit…people still do business with people.

    I disconnect when it is all about them. Do they waste my time? Do they have a track record, but can still think outside the box? 

    1. Its funny how so much of what we’re all saying has to do with feeling a connection to the “expert”. I even feel that way when I read books. If I can’t connect with the author, I can’t finish the book.

       Thanks Rebecca!

27. 1) I’m attracted to people that speak in plain language without a lot of jargon. It’s hard to put it into words, although *they’re real.* They speak to you in the written or spoken word that gives you the feeling they’ve walked in your shoes.

    I love it when someone says, *don’t buy this program if* you’re not serious, or you’re not going to follow through, or you’re looking for a silver bullet. That’s REAL!

    2) I run from people when there is a time limit on the price of their program. Or, they bundle it in such a way that says, *Wait, there’s more!* Meaning QVClike or very infomercialish.

28. I agree Sandy.

    The spelling and grammar are not deal breakers with me unless its off the hook.

    Thanks Sandy!

29. I think sharing the things that did not work and why is very difficult for some because of that crazy thing called “ego”

    It wasn’t until much later in my crazy journey that I was able to tell me ego to go wait in the car and tell people about the things that didn’t have me as the hero . . . more like the village idiot 🙂

    Thanks Kathy!

30. It was very helpful indeed Peter and I never say “indeed” 🙂

    Rock on brother!

31. I too gravitate towards great content in plain speech. 

    My mentor once told me (and I have written about it here) to communicate as if you and I were at the kitchen table having a cup of coffee.

    I think people appreciate that. I know I do!

    Thanks Ronald!

32. 1) I gravitate towards experts who a) seem to share my values, b) have had a fair amount of experience in the field in which they are dispensing advice, and c) can communicate that advice in a way that is clear and easy-to-grasp.

    2) I shy away from experts that a) seem to have an overly inflated opinion of self, b) whose values differ from mine (e.g., they believe in slick, manipulative selling techniques), and c) whose terminology is too abstract or technical for me to easily understand.

33. Perceived credibility, perceived sincerity, and my sense of urgency to resolve the problem would be the same answer to both questions.

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