Paul Castain's Blog

My Decision To Pull The Plug On My Book

Posted May 8, 2012


As many of you know, I’m open to sharing my thoughts both personal and business.

I’ve shared my story of how I lost everything back in 1995, I’ve written about my Dad’s last Christmas and I even shared it with you when my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer (now cured).

There was one thing that I chose not to share with you because I needed to sort it out and do some soul searching so here goes . . .

I was approached by a major publisher last summer to write a book. As you can imagine, I was quite excited until the woman who approached me flaked on me.

She didn’t flake after seeing a manuscript so I can’t translate that into a “actually its because you suck as a writer” type of moment . . . she just flaked and went MIA after the initial “we’d like you to write a book” discussion.

Something odd happened next . . . I was at peace with it!

That actually bothered me . . . I know, being bothered with being at peace, so I decided to do some soul searching (almost a year’s worth to be precise)

At first I thought I was scared. As many of you know, it was me being scared and admitting it in a classroom back in 2008 that made me face my fears and launch this blog.

After lots of reflection it comes down to a few really significant things. Pardon me while I get brutally honest.

My Personal Life Needs Some Attention

My oldest is about to start college and I’m totally enjoying being home between trips and soaking in every moment. He needs to come first and I’m cool with that. Actually . . . I’m really quite excited about it!

There are some “Paul” things that I want to fix, specifically my weight. I’m not ready to get going on that piece yet, but when I do, I want total focus.

I Want To Grow Castain Training Systems First

My business is doing extremely well but its like a little baby in need of a lot of care.

I have a major launch on this website in the next 2-3 weeks and then have a new product launching every month for the next several months.

I have major plans to scale the business in the next 18 months.

Quite selfishly . . . I want to enjoy the climb and the journey and not have to rush off and write or go off on a book tour.

And now the hardest part to admit . . .

I’m Just Not Excited About Writing A Book!

Truth be told, I’m passionate about this blog, my training business and all those I am fortunate enough to serve but I’m just not feeling it . . . and that’s a really good thing!

Why?

Try forcing yourself to do something you’re not feeling and I’ll guarantee you that you’ll create a piece of sh*t!

I don’t know about you but I resent reading crap or worse yet, something that lacks that certain . . . “I put every ounce of my soul into this”.

You know what folks, I wake up every morning and I can’t to get to work. I can’t wait to serve my clients. I can’t wait to work on the new products I’m launching.

I sit down at night to write this blog and I can’t wait to write it but . . .

I do all this stuff with passion or I don’t do it!

If I’m going to have to pull some of my focus away from my family, Castain Training Systems or this blog . . . I need to be totally into it!

So what once began as a “Face your fears” move back in 2008 has evolved into a “don’t you dare do something that you aren’t passionate about” conviction!

Maybe this soon to be 47 year old finally grew up!

I’ve been advised that postponing my book will hurt my business and I will lose opportunities (and higher speaking fees)

But that’s OK . . . I have the balls to do this on my terms and my timetable.

I’d rather chase my passion and worry about the paycheck later.

And besides, nobody’s saying “never” here . . .

I just have a little more reinventing of me to do first!

Meanwhile, I hope you’ll travel the distance with me . . . I sure could use some company!

Peace!

81 thoughts on “My Decision To Pull The Plug On My Book”

  1. All the best, Paul. I’m sure it will work out no matter when, or if, you end up publishing that book. Your passion will see to that!

  2. Paul, I totally get where you are coming from. I tend to hate saying no so I keep adding to my plate until it spills on the floor. This adds to my overall stress level and I know that everything I do at this point is completely half-assed.

    It is great that you are realizing what your priorities are before you try to do it all.

    Thanks for a great post! Miriam

    1. You summed it up perfectly Miriam!

      I’m in a great place, enjoying the journey while maintaining the quality of my work . . . I don’t want to screw with that.

      As with everything else I pursue, I’ll know its the right thing because there will be a certain “I can’t wait to stop what I’m doing now to work in it” vibe.

      Thanks Miriam!

  4. Paul, I appreciate you sharing this on your blog.  Interesting to read what you are considering and how your passion for life/family & work are finding balance.  It’s something I need to work on myself.  Thanks for writing the blog.  It’s becoming a daily read for me.  Again, I appreciate it.

  5. I think your blogs would make a great Rock Opera.  We have not had one in a while…..  “Pauly, can you hear me!”

  6. Great Insights in your soul again Paul, helping others to do the same!
    And about the bookthing….go buy a stapler and print your blogs….READY!!!!

  7. Paul, I thought you were pretty cool before this post.  Thanks for exposing yourself and giving the rest of us permission to walk on our own path, even if it doesn’t make sense to other people in our world.  You rock!

  8. Well thank you Joe!

    Quite frankly, I wish I had this level of awareness and clarity a few years ago but its here now and I’m grateful for it.

    Thank you for the kind words and of course, for reading my blog!

  11. Paul, I believe that all things happen for a reason and clearly there were a few reasons why your book hasn’t come to pass yet. We all need to tackle things in life when they feel right. Having a book is a good thing and does help to build credibility. No doubt. That’s what has happened for me. That being said, it was almost a year of very hard work, in addition to everything else going on in life and business. You’ll right that book when you are ready and like everything else that you do, it will ROCK!

    1. I really appreciate the support Barb and I’m with you 1,000% when you say that things happen for a reason.

      Right now, I’m being pulled in a direction (actually several) that truly excite me. I believe it will reflect in my work.

      Thanks again Barb . . . you are truly appreciated!

    2. I really appreciate the support Barb and I’m with you 1,000% when you say that things happen for a reason.

      Right now, I’m being pulled in a direction (actually several) that truly excite me. I believe it will reflect in my work.

      Thanks again Barb . . . you are truly appreciated!

  12. Paul, this make me remember a phrase I read once. It sounded like this : “you can’t be good at helping others as long as you’re not caring enough about yourself”

    1. I heard that one as well Charly and I believe its spot on . . . 

      Kind of like when you’re on a plane and they tell you in case of emergency to grab your oxygen mask first 🙂

      Thank you for taking the time to stop by and share your thoughts!

    2. I heard that one as well Charly and I believe its spot on . . . 

      Kind of like when you’re on a plane and they tell you in case of emergency to grab your oxygen mask first 🙂

      Thank you for taking the time to stop by and share your thoughts!

  13. Listen to your heart, CHOOSE your passion, the rest will fall into place! The force is within you!

  15. Paul—thanks so much for sharing. Exposing our true thoughts to the world can be downright scary. Congrats for being bold enough to blaze your own trail! The passion in your work will continue to propel your success. Life/work balance can be quite rewarding–soak up every moment.

    1. ” Life/work balance can be quite rewarding–soak up every moment.” I couldn’t agree more Kristi! Well said!
      Thanks for stopping by!

    2. ” Life/work balance can be quite rewarding–soak up every moment.” I couldn’t agree more Kristi! Well said!
      Thanks for stopping by!

  16. I’ve often wondered how you manage to write this awesome blog…every single day…and do everything else that life demands.

    Best wishes for mucho continued success!

  17. Don’t
    doubt that there is a LOT of company out there
    on these types of journeys. Whether it’s writing (or not writing) a book,
    starting a new business, committing to a new relationship – the people with
    passion are out there and those types of people tend to show up in our lives if
    we are genuine in our own journey. Which you clearly are.

  18. Paul, great piece and I’m glad you’re at peace. I doubt you’ll lose any business over this; in fact, the larger your business grows, the more opportunity you’ll have to sell books!

    Besides, you can never turn back the clock – you get one chance to enjoy what you’re doing with your family at each stage, so go for it!

    The book can wait, trust me – a similar situation happened with me several years back (publishers flaking out – maybe they get taught that in “publishing school”)

    Rock on!

  19. We need to tell my kids that I’m cool . . . they never believe me when I tell them 🙂 

    I really believe in what you just shared as far as walking our own path even if it doesn’t make sense to other people in our world.

    Sara Bareilles named one of her albums “Little Voice” because she decided to stop listening to others and follow the little voice inside her. I’m glad she listened to that little voice because the result was pretty awesome!

    Thanks Randi!

  21. I started subscribing to your post after entering the Sales arena a few months back.  I come from many years in the Account/Customer Services field.  I can’t wait to get to work in the morning and read your blog, especially today, it literally brought tears to my eyes.  Had a VERY similar discussion with a friend last night and bottom line…life should be about PASSION!

    Thanks for the continued inspiration Paul!

    1. Thank you Brian and what you’ve written, quite frankly is non negotiable. I’m going into ALL CAPs Mode to make your point more dramatic . . . LIFE SHOULD BE ABOUT PASSION!

      Much appreciation Brian!

  22. You make me smile with your authenticity (a missing commodity in many blogs!) I fully support your decision and I will certainly wait until the book is ready to be written. “When the student is ready, the teacher appears” You’re a great teacher already!

  23. Hi Paul.  I enjoy and look forward to your work everyday.  Thanks for inviting us to travel the distance with you.  I’m on board.

    1. Thank God Edward because it would be a lonely journey without the company of my readers.

      Please know you are appreciated!

      Thank you Sir!

  24. Uncle Paul, I look forward to reading your blog every single day. I can not wait to see what is next.

    1. Randy . . . I never get tired of hearing what this blog means to the people who read it.

      I think the world of my readers and appreciate each one of you!

      Thank you!

  25. Paul, I really like the statement- “Listen to your heart, chase your passion and the paycheck will follow”. The paycheck cannot be the focus. True satisfaction comes when we really decide what is important and pursue it with everything we have. Life’s choices are like a great “Buffet”. There are dozens of good foods to eat. But, no matter how much you want too, you cant eat them all. We have to choose!

    1. “True satisfaction comes when we really decide what is important and pursue it with everything we have.” Brilliant Alan!
      That satisfaction even hovers something called “peace”

      Its wonderful, its liberating and most of all . . . its on our terms!

      Thank you Alan!

  26. I think this is my favorite of all your posts, Paul. Thanks so much for sharing and I love the candor but I urge you to never grow up. I am older than you and I plan on acting like a child until I am well into my 90s.

    1. Truth be told, it felt really weird for me to write that part about growing up.

      I felt like Tommy Boy when he sang “Fat guy in a little coat”

      Thanks Mark . . . I really appreciate it!

  27. I feel the same way Matt. I also think it lends more credibility to my writing when people can see that I live this stuff and grew my own business doing so.

    Thanks!

  28. Paul,

    Aweosme post! Thank you for being so open. In a world where we are asked to give all we have to our jobs it is so important to remember that what really matters is ourselves, our families, and the people and things that we love. You get that and I think that is part of why people like myself read your blog daily and follow your teachings because you are real just like us! Thanks Paul, Really enjoued this post.

    1. ” In a world where we are asked to give all we have to our jobs it is so important to remember that what really matters is ourselves, our families, and the people and things that we love.” . . . well said Ron!
      Now if I had your wisdom when I was your age dude I would be king of the world by now!

      Thank you and Rock On Mr Masi!

  29. Paul, it is this kind of authentic and heartfelt writing that has me recommending your blog to my business acquaintances.   You are a great role model for others.  Proof that you can be yourself, express yourself, be different from the norm, and still be wildly successful.
    I am sitting in Tucson, open to inspiration from the desert, and the inspiration came through my computer, from Long Island.  A great reminder that there is Truth and heartfelt authenticity back on the island, awaiting my return.
    Thanks for sharing with us every day.
    Beth

    1. Beth its so important to be ourselves . . . sooner or later it shines through any way. No need to hide it.

      Let’s celebrate the “Bethness” “Paulness” and those things that make us uniquely us!

      And take heart there’s still some authenticity left on Long Island but the cost of living is making us authentically poor really quick 🙂

      Thank you!

  30. Hi Paul,

    Joined this group and a few others a couple weeks ago.. this one is by far my favorite! I appreciate your transparency and self reflection. I resonate to the Life is Good company..  Do what you love. Love what you do. 
    Best,
    Holly

    1. I love to hear things like this Holly and its so nice to have you in our community!

      As far as your comment about Doing what you love and love what you do . . . life is too short not to. This is how I found high levels of joy in my life 1 year ago when I launched my business and I’ve never looked back.

      Thank you for stopping by Holly!

  31. Thank you Paul for this great and honest post.  Your post are such a pleasure and so uplifting.  I work from home and make alot of cold calls which gets pretty tuff.  So your post are something I read everyday and helps to uplift me and set me in the right direction.  Thank you.

    1. Thank you Nancy!

      I too work from home and still hunt for business . . . I know the feeling and have been there many times.

      I appreciate you sharing that!

      Have an awesome Wednesday!

  32. Hi Paul! Can totally relate. I can’t put my heart and soul into something where I’m not feeling it 100%. Writing a book does set you apart, but it won’t be a good book unless your mind is clear to work on it. And until you have time to invest your full attention. Enjoy your time with your child. That’s so much more important. They do grow very fast!

    1. They grow way too fast Cara so I’m glad I have some time to dedicate in that direction.

      Sometimes we need to look at where we are and simply appreciate it and leave it alone.

      Thanks again Cara!

  34. While I can’t wait to ready your book someday, I would certainly miss the awesomeness of these blog posts. My husband and I have sacrificed our finances in our ‘earning’ years so one of us could be home with our daughters. My oldest too, is heading off to college in the fall. Sometimes I kick myself for the decisions we have made, especially when I see the price tag on college. Most of the time though I know we made the right decisions for our family. I can honestly say that our daughters are wonderful people, even through the teen years. My husband and  I  can’t take much credit for that, but we will take some of it! As my 20 something friend always tells me…..”Make good choices”. I know you did.

    1. You certainly did make the right decision for your family. My wife and I made that decision years ago and we have 3 awesome young adults today as a result. 

      “Make good choices” . . . now those are some wonderful thoughts to live by Lisa!

      Thank you!

  35. Paul,
    Amazing words.  You read my mind and are capable of putting it into words that free me and so many others out there.  You are a true mentor.

  38. Paul if you can’t be true to yourself, who can you be treu to?  Put the book on the shelf, it will come into its own when it’s time.

  39. Paul – I have no idea how you do it, but you have such a knack for saying the right things at the right time.  Such an inspirational post.  As others have already said, the book will come when it’s the right time (and will no doubt be a best-seller if this group has anything at all to say about it).  You only get one chance to be there with your kids (my only son is 6) and one go ’round for yourself as well.  Prioritize what’s important for you and let the rest of it ride.

    Wishing you every success,
    Beth C.

    1. The way I do it Beth? I have really awesome supporters like you and the people who visit this blog!

      You guys make my job easy :)I believe we need to have a willingness to savor where we are and know when that will be jeopardized while aspiring to be somewhere else . . . that we only think we want but in reality, we don’t want it now.Cheers Beth!

  40. As always you touch what is most human in us and isn’t that really all a person could want? That is why you are the best. All the finest in life to you.

  41. I have been one of the pushers (suggesting you have enough blog stuff to fill a book). I would look forward to reading it. As you know I also follow Tom Peters closely. Tom’s last book was a compilation of thoughts and after the book he publised snipets and did an audio version. He commented during the process that  a totally consuming process. I agree…if you are not yet reaady, then wait. I believe however that there is a book in here (somewhere). You have made a well reasoned (grown up) decision. Good for you my friend….

    1. Thanks Todd. I have a few great directions that I plan to go in when the time comes. I’m passionate about all of them.

      I’m just not passionate about writing them right now. 

      I can’t begin to tell you about the sense of peace I have with this decision.

      Today, for example, I was meeting with my designers for an upcoming launch on this website. I am able to thoroughly enjoy the process and the creativity, the ups the downs, the set backs because I have my decided to only focus on a few things.

      I’m truly having a blast!

      I also can’t begin to tell you how much I’ve appreciated your support over the last few years. If my memory is correct, you subscribed to my blog back when I was on the old website prior to 2010.

      Your loyalty, support and kind words are appreciated Todd!

      Thank YOU Sir!

  42. Hey Paul.. congratulations!  That realisation that passion is what makes us feel right in what we’re currently doing.. it’s one great realisation.  Well done for recognising it, and having the courage to follow it.  Stick with what you are passionate about and your days will be magnificent.

  43. Hi Paul,
    I read you faithfully and feel like I am right there with you. I too decided to  take control and weight was one of my big issues, also a cancer survivor.  I too struggle with work vs. what I really want to be doing.  This was a great article and gave me inspiration.  When you want to start taking back your body I would be happy to share my story with you.  You might find something helpful there.

    Blessings,
    Jill

  44. Paul. I love your writing. When you do write a book I will purchase it. I want a signed first edition. Every time I ready your blog or listen to your podcast I feel inspired to be better. You are just plain cool. Love to break bread and wash it down with suds some day. I would love to pay you the highest compliment I have…You ARE real, Dude!!!

  45. I think it is great to be chasing your passion. I am chasing mine by writing a book…actually I’m finishing my 2nd one and have started outlining the 3rd. It took me a long time to realize that it is ok to pursue my passion – I always thought that I had to do something more ‘grown up’ and practical. I have discovered that I am a much better writer than sales person, so perhaps it is the practical thing for me to do! Life it good!

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