The sales person offered the cup of Kool-Aid from which they had been drinking. It was a golden chalice that spewed boring details of equipment, technology, mission statements, salesy lines of bs and yada yada yada’s. (in my neck of the woods there may have been a bada bing bada bang sprinkled in too)
The prospect yawned and made a note to give a shit!
The sales person moved on to the next victim citing the ancient scripture which states that sales is a contact sport.
If this sounds even remotely familiar you need to change drinks . . . Muy Pronto!
It’s time to offer your audience a new drink . . .
The Breakfast of champions . . .
The Nectar of Rock Stars . . .
Your Can Of Whoop Ass!
To create a micro brewery of whoop ass one must understand the expertise required before mixing the ingredients.
You must know what businesses really want at the end of the day. I don’t care if they sell widgets or wallets, printing or pampers you must understand what businesses want. They want:
More sales, more profit, more market share, happy customers, happy shareholders, happy employees, greater productivity, better employee retention, quicker to market turn times, a better image, a streamlined process and the list goes on and on!
That’s the good stuff! At the same time, there are things that piss them off like you wouldn’t believe! From a buyer’s perspective, what would get under your skin, keep you up at night, get your proverbial panties in a bunch? Things to consider:
Deadlines, internal customers, doing more with less resources, quality, poor communication, managing multiple vendors and dare I say (forgive me) sales people.
The last step requires an understanding of how your company addresses those things and packaging your message in a way that unleashes the whoop ass! In order to do that, your first sentence has pack an intense punch, a tag line, a tone setter, a sip from the whoop ass can that makes them crave a lengthy swig!
Examples of wielders of the whoop ass:
Matt Rees from Tucker Printers in NY doesn’t tell people he’s a printer. He tells them he creates fireworks for his clients. Give me that can of whoop ass Matt you are making me thirsty!
Kyle Richardson from Bridgetown Printers tells people he’s a magician who can make his customer’s problems disappear!
Note to Kyle: Magicians scare the shit out of me. They are mysterious and have unusual goatees, but you piqued my interest . . . pass the can amigo!
Google: “Google provides access to the world’s information in one click”
Cisco: “Cisco changes the way we live, work, play and learn”
My Wife: “Breaks balls relentlessly, effortlessly and in one fell swoop” (My blog hon. I wear the Daddy pants here)
Action: Part 1
Start cranking up your whoop ass brewery by giving thought to these words by Tom Peters (who holds the keg to my mere can)
If you are going to be a brand, you’ve got to become relentlessly focused on what you do that adds value, that you are proud of, and most important, that you can shamelessly take credit for!
Amen Tom! We need to be deliberate and intentional about how we describe what we do.
Action: Part Dos
Get off your ass and try this concept on for size. Try it out on a friend, leave a message for yourself on your voicemail, go to a networking event. The only way to get good at this stuff is go for it!
From this day forth, we must aspire to become Master Brewers of The Whoop Ass!
May your can runneth over!
Please help me to spread the Castain brand of whoop ass by signing up as a follower and passing this along to anyone you know he needs a little whoop ass this week!
