So there you are at a networking event, pocket full of business cards and a spirit that says “I’m so gonna rock this event”.
You approach several people and suddenly get the feeling that they don’t care about your story . . . because they are so busy trying to tell you theirs!
Its just an odd dynamic that few people truly understand because they are so busy fighting to get a word in!
That’s why I don’t try to!
I’ve found that most people aren’t ready to hear my story, until they’ve exhausted theirs.
This is where the “counterintuitive” part comes into play.
Most of us would rather . . .
Tell our own story and perhaps . . .
Listen with an intent not to learn . . . but to respond!
Or
We have a natural tendency to match their story with a one of our own in a game affectionately known as “one uppery”
Unfortunately, none of those approaches allow the other person to tell their story unless they truly came to the event hoping to be sold something.
So instead of listening to respond, one up, pitch, posture etc . . .
How about listening to learn?
Pop Quiz: How many kick butt networking questions do you have in your arsenal? And by “kick butt” I mean questions that encourage the other person to tell their story.
Note: When I say “tell their story” I mean truly tell their story and not the story that results from some speed dating style needs analysis.
Perhaps we should give some thought to that?
Repetitious Uncle Paulism in 3,2,1 . . .
Everyone has a story and wants to be heard!
Facilitate that experience and you validate another human being!
Validate another human being and they feel good.
If they feel good when they’re around you, its easier to be in rapport.
And when you’re in rapport, it’s the ultimate setting for someone . . .
To truly hear your story.
Once we master that concept then perhaps we can find use for it beyond our networking discussions 🙂
Paul Castain is the Vice President of Jedi Mastery for Castain Training Systems where he works with organizations and individuals to achieve higher levels of performance. For more information on how Paul can help you and your company click here dude.
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