59 thoughts on “Do You Interrogate Your Network?”

1. When somebody I’d like to have in my network Approaches me, It’s nice to know what I might have done right to make that happen. Other than that I agree with you Paul. Why would you mess with a good thing?

   1. I’m with you Rich . . . maybe this is all a “packaging” thing as far as how we ask that question.

      Maybe even when as in during the get to know you part of the courtship and not as part of the pre nump? 🙂

      Thanks Rich!

2. because of that great radio station WIIFM, whats in it for me! If someone is asking why someone else is following them, they think there might be an opportunity of some kind. Some people want to turn every situation into a selling situation.

   1. Good point . . . I don’t doubt that.

      Thank you for your thoughts!

   2. Good point . . . I don’t doubt that.

      Thank you for your thoughts!

3. I wonder about this as well. My concern is if I have a whole bunch of people in my network that I don’t know then how valuable are they really? How willing will they be to help me connect or get a meeting with someone in their network. Or if there network is full of people they don’t really know, how much will it really help that they will make a connection? Meaning if they send someone an introduction, it won’t get very far. I think as in the offline world, your network is only as good as you invest in it. linkedIn and the like are just easy mechanisms for managing it. But if you don’t really KNOW the people you are connected to, what good is having a million connections?

   1. I agree with the premise of “collecting” vs truly “connecting”.

      I see zero return on ignoring simply because I don’t know someone or feel I can’t possibly get to know a bunch of contacts. I like having options and we simply never know.

      I can only speak for myself when I say that I not only know a good portion of my 2700 strong network on LI, they know me.

      Your awesome comment reminds me that we all have to find what works for us individually!

      Thanks Craig!

4. I like to make a small observation from something I gleaned from their page but I agree the more the merrier. I have in a few cases begun conversations with folks from Rochester who have moved out of state and a really nice guy in Atlanta where a few of my children have relocated; promises of coffee in both locations. Don’t know about you Uncle Paulie but I’m kinda enjoying all this.
   You know I’m a late bloomer and I promised you I would contribute when I thought I had something to add, thanks for aways making me feel included. Herb.

   1. I really am enjoying all of this Herb and I think you and I might make a perfect case in point.

      You and I were competitors at the time one of us (don’t remember who) sent an invite to connect.

      Why the heck would two competitors want to connect?

      Probably because they could see the bigger picture!

      And might I say that I’m glad we did connect Herb!

      Thanks . . . on many levels my friend!

5. I like to make a small observation from something I gleaned from their page but I agree the more the merrier. I have in a few cases begun conversations with folks from Rochester who have moved out of state and a really nice guy in Atlanta where a few of my children have relocated; promises of coffee in both locations. Don’t know about you Uncle Paulie but I’m kinda enjoying all this.
   You know I’m a late bloomer and I promised you I would contribute when I thought I had something to add, thanks for aways making me feel included. Herb.

6. Paul,
   I don’t actually do this, but there are a couple of times I wish I had. My major problem is with people who want to connect and immediately after you connect with them they go into a sales pitch.

   1. One of my major pet peeves. Its my belief that they would launch into that pitch regardless of how selective we were but you certainly raise a valid point Jeremy!

      1. Ooooh…bad form. Just curious, after telling this would be best-friend and trusted resource to piss off, were you then asked for a referral?

         1. That’s beautiful and I won’t divulge how many times that one has happed to me.

            Truth be told, why shouldn’t I give them a referral. After all, we just shared a kiss off moment together. That 2 second exchange is worth like 2 seconds in real time 🙂

            Thanks for stopping by!

         2. That’s beautiful and I won’t divulge how many times that one has happed to me.

            Truth be told, why shouldn’t I give them a referral. After all, we just shared a kiss off moment together. That 2 second exchange is worth like 2 seconds in real time 🙂

            Thanks for stopping by!

7. Paul,
   I don’t actually do this, but there are a couple of times I wish I had. My major problem is with people who want to connect and immediately after you connect with them they go into a sales pitch.

8. The funniest thing someone said to me in a DM after I followed them was: I want to follow you but I need you to shout out to me so I know you are real. All the person would have to do is check my feed or the lists I’ve compiled to know I am real. But no, I sent out the message as requested.

   1. I’ve seen that a few times on Twitter and I believe that’s more about someone getting some public attention than having any practical use.

      I usually don’t comply. Let them all think I’m a balding, middle aged bot 🙂

9. with all the spammers, fraud, hoax emails and such who needs someone following you if they have no valid reason. Yes, you should ask if you do not recognize the name. The problem you may have, Paul, is how people are asking. Asking why a person shose to follow you may require tact but it is not something you should ignore just because you want to gain a large following.

   1. I agree James!

      I believe the same holds true on both sides of the fence.

      We shouldn’t ignore someone just because they sent a lame invite or didn’t give us compelling reason to connect.

      On the other hand, we shouldn’t shut down the process simply because someone asked us that question.

      Thanks James!

10. With hundreds of connections it is hard to keep up with everyone in your network. When someone asks me to connect they usually use the standard “I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn”. If I don;t know the person I use an icebreaker question like “I would love to connect to you, can you tell me how we know each other or what prompted you to connect?” This gets a discussion going and gives me an idea about how we can help each other.

    1. I’m with you Ron, I just approach it differently.

       I’ve come to the conclusion that people simply don’t know any better than to use those ridiculous templates. I don’t want that to get in the way of us getting to know each other.

       I generally will utilize different ice breakers starting at the moment I accept the invite.

       I’d don’t make the judgment as to whether or not we can help each other prior to getting to know them. Things change and I never know who they might know and vice versa that could expand our value to each other.

       Thanks Ron!

11. Me thinking it might be useful (in the invitation to connect) to share a little on why you are reaching out. Seems like common courtesy and a no brainer in my view.

    1. Agreed . . . I think our first hurdle is getting everyone to stop using the templates.

       Thanks!

12. Paul, when people join my facebook group or linkedin group I will ask them who or what inspired them to join the group. I ask so I know how to help them and so I can thank the person who told them about my networking group.

13. I’m with you Rich . . . maybe this is all a “packaging” thing as far as how we ask that question.

    Maybe even when as in during the get to know you part of the courtship and not as part of the pre nump? 🙂

    Thanks Rich!

14. I’ve seen that a few times on Twitter and I believe that’s more about someone getting some public attention than having any practical use.

    I usually don’t comply. Let them all think I’m a balding, middle aged bot 🙂

15. I agree James!

    I believe the same holds true on both sides of the fence.

    We shouldn’t ignore someone just because they sent a lame invite or didn’t give us compelling reason to connect.

    On the other hand, we shouldn’t shut down the process simply because someone asked us that question.

    Thanks James!

16. I’m with you Ron, I just approach it differently.

    I’ve come to the conclusion that people simply don’t know any better than to use those ridiculous templates. I don’t want that to get in the way of us getting to know each other.

    I generally will utilize different ice breakers starting at the moment I accept the invite.

    I’d don’t make the judgment as to whether or not we can help each other prior to getting to know them. Things change and I never know who they might know and vice versa that could expand our value to each other.

    Thanks Ron!

17. Agreed . . . I think our first hurdle is getting everyone to stop using the templates.

    Thanks!

18. Makes sense Kevin . . . Thanks!

19. I haven’t done this yet, but I was actually thinking about doing it. I think its important to know the “why” behind the follow. In the end, its all about getting value from the connection , so why not ask what that value is to your new follower. I could see how some would be turned off by it but you know the saying…its not what you say, but how you say it!

    1. Perhaps and I’m like you in wanting to know upfront what I can do to help someone, I just go about it differently because I think there are lots of folks that have been conditioned to get a sales pitch right after that.

       There’s no downside to giving it whirl. Why not?

       Thanks Brian!

20. I haven’t done this yet, but I was actually thinking about doing it. I think its important to know the “why” behind the follow. In the end, its all about getting value from the connection , so why not ask what that value is to your new follower. I could see how some would be turned off by it but you know the saying…its not what you say, but how you say it!

    1. Perhaps and I’m like you in wanting to know upfront what I can do to help someone, I just go about it differently because I think there are lots of folks that have been conditioned to get a sales pitch right after that.

       There’s no downside to giving it whirl. Why not?

       Thanks Brian!

21. Paul,

    I just like to connect with interesting people whose opinions I respect. They share their opinions on great places like Sports Playbook discussion topics. Also when I invite people to connect with me, I tell them in the invite why I would like to connect with them.

    Cheers,

    Larry

    1. Hi Larry,

       I changed something you wrote from sports playbook to sales playbook as I believe it was an error. Let me know if I made a mistake and I’ll change that bad boy right back!

       I think one of the underlying lessons that is emerging in this thread is that we should take the time to craft a proper invite.

       Perhaps that will remove the need to question further.

       Thanks!

22. Paul,

    I just like to connect with interesting people whose opinions I respect. They share their opinions on great places like Sales Playbook discussion topics. Also when I invite people to connect with me, I tell them in the invite why I would like to connect with them.

    Cheers,

    Larry

    1. Hi Larry,

       I changed something you wrote from sports playbook to sales playbook as I believe it was an error. Let me know if I made a mistake and I’ll change that bad boy right back!

       I think one of the underlying lessons that is emerging in this thread is that we should take the time to craft a proper invite.

       Perhaps that will remove the need to question further.

       Thanks!

23. Hi Paul,

    I used to ask but I don’t waste the time anymore. These days, if someone sends me a LinkedIn connection that just uses the standard “I’d like to add you to my professional network”, and I don’t recognize them, I just ignore the request. I also used to take the time to look them up to see if they’d be a good connection, but that takes too much time. I figure that if someone wants to invite me to connect, they should tell me why we’d be a good connection or how we know each other.

    As you know Paul, I do not say yes to everyone who wants to connect. I feel strongly that our networks are business assets that are to be protected. I need to know and trust the people who connect to me, because I do not want them spamming my network of contacts. Sadly, that’s happening too much these days, so I err on the side of caution.

24. Sometimes I feel like asking people why they have invited me to connect when they don’t bother to personalize the invitation. I sent a note back to one of these characters recently saying that I looked forward to exploring synergies and to let me know if there was any way that I could be of assistance (see, I pay attention Uncle Paul). He responded that he didn’t think that there was any synergy! What the %!@@…then why did you invite me?? I didn’t ask…I didn’t even respond, but I felt like doing more than mere interrogation. I think we should all have the right to post “stupid” flags on LI ala Gallagher.

    1. That’s freakin classic Rebecca! The technical term for that person is “Tool” . . . The only possible thing you can do with a tool is pat them on head and tell them “Bless your heart”

       That example is one of the many reasons why I drink.

       Rock on Rebecca!

25. I know this is a subject that you and I have different perspectives on but I respect the heck out you and how could I not when I think the shortest phone chat you and I ever had was like 90 minutes.

    And I couldn’t agree more about the amount of spamming that happens with contacts. I can’t tell you how many newsletters I get that I never opted in on etc etc.

    Thanks for stopping by Barb . . . its been way too long since we had one of our epic phone chats my friend!

    Note to All: I would highly recommend Barb’s awesome book The New Handshake as well as her blog. You can access both via this handy dandy link http://www.thenewhandshake.com/

26. That’s freakin classic Rebecca! The technical term for that person is “Tool” . . . The only possible thing you can do with a tool is pat them on head and tell them “Bless your heart”

    That example is one of the many reasons why I drink.

    Rock on Rebecca!

27. Paul,

    People are just getting too paranoid. I used to be that way. Not anymore. If someone wants to follow me, wants me to be a connection, fine, no questions

    1. I agree and there’s always the option to silently unfollow. No?

       Thanks!

    2. I agree and there’s always the option to silently unfollow. No?

       Thanks!

28. Paul.

    It’s all about SOCIAL networking so let’s be SOCIAL.

    It’s all about

    1. I agree Nick and if at some point we feel it isn’t a match we can certainly become silently unsociable and unfriend.

       Thanks for your comment Nick!

    2. I agree Nick and if at some point we feel it isn’t a match we can certainly become silently unsociable and unfriend.

       Thanks for your comment Nick!

29. Hi Paul, I used to be wary of people asking to connect to me if I didnt know them, but now I review their profile first and if interesting, I am happy to accept their invitation as their future input may be a valuable asset.

    1. Makes sense . . . you never never what the future will bring.

       Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment!

30. I don’t think it’s all bad–I like to explain why I asked. It gives both of us a chance to learn a little more about each. Thanks for asking– Debbie

    1. Thanks Debbie . . . wishing you an awesome weekend!

31. I don’t think it’s all bad–I like to explain why I asked. It gives both of us a chance to learn a little more about each. Thanks for asking– Debbie

    1. Thanks Debbie . . . wishing you an awesome weekend!

32. Sometimes I will ask why someone decided to connect with me via Linkedin. I am looking for a connection or what they saw on my profile that interested them, etc. I don’t always ask but I have a few times and they will generally tell me what they resonate with on my profile or what they are looking for. I only ask this question after I accept their invitation via LinkedIn.

33. On LinkedIn why would you ever say “NO” to an invitation. Every time you say No you lose the ability to expand your network. You also minimize the number of your profiles that are visible. LinkedIn now charges for access to that visibility. Just an extension of life, some are open and others are not. I’ll stick with open.

34. On LinkedIn why would you ever say “NO” to an invitation. Every time you say No you lose the ability to expand your network. You also minimize the number of your profiles that are visible. LinkedIn now charges for access to that visibility. Just an extension of life, some are open and others are not. I’ll stick with open.

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