If you’re aren’t doing so already, start getting in the habit of pausing before you respond.
Why?
Well here are 6 benefits of pausing before opening one’s mouth
1) The Interrupting Thing: I won’t spend too much time on this one because you’ve probably heard it a million times that pausing keeps you from interrupting. Pausing is especially helpful when you are on a phone (especially a cell) because you don’t have the benefit of visual cues.
2) It’s A Really Powerful Continuation Technique: A “continuation technique” is something you add to a discussion to encourage someone to continue or expand their thoughts. I think this is of particular importance to my sales friends. We’ve all been guilty of asking a question, getting a reply and then racing on to our next question. A pause is an amazing thing because people will generally fill silence out of nervousness. It’s in those moments that you can get some absolute gems of information.
3) It Keeps You From Filling That Silence With One Of Those “Did I Just Say That Out Loud” Statements.
4) It’s A Partial Antidote Against A Dumb Remark: In all fairness, there are times when that little filter from brain to mouth is temporarily in off mode. The next time someone makes a dumb remark to you, look them right in the eye and become one with the pause. I wish I could advise you that the dumber the comment, the longer the pause but you could easily fritter your life away with someone who’s parents might very well have been brother and sister.
5) It Gives You An Extra Second or Two To Formulate A Response: It would absolutely blow your mind to see what the mind can do with only an extra second or two. Those extra seconds can make the difference between an OK response and the one that will seal the deal! Just for the heck of it, watch how many people have a habit of answering their own questions. 🙂
6) Helps You To Demonstrate Confidence
Pauses can really serve you well in the online world too. Sometimes we get so caught up the immediacy of the internet that we fail to partake in what experts call “thinking”.
Also . . . please take note of people patting you on the head during one of your pauses . . . that means you’re pausing too long dude.
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Uncle Paul, this is one of my favorites. One of the best bosses I’ve ever had told me that learning to be an attentive listener takes really removing our own agenda and truly giving attention to the speaker. That was one of the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned in my sales career that has helped me immensely in ALL of my relationships in life and business. When I learned to become a better listener, I learned to pause and not be so quick to have a response or comeback. I now have great relationships and have been complimented for my ability to listen so well and communicate effectively. So this blog post really hit home. You rock. Thank you for all of your wisdom and edge. It’s impeccable. Love it!
What a great lesson from you boss Berni!
It really does make a huge difference and I appreciate you pointing that out so eloquently.
Thanks Berni!
Uncle Paul, this is one of my favorites. One of the best bosses I’ve ever had told me that learning to be an attentive listener takes really removing our own agenda and truly giving attention to the speaker. That was one of the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned in my sales career that has helped me immensely in ALL of my relationships in life and business. When I learned to become a better listener, I learned to pause and not be so quick to have a response or comeback. I now have great relationships and have been complimented for my ability to listen so well and communicate effectively. So this blog post really hit home. You rock. Thank you for all of your wisdom and edge. It’s impeccable. Love it!
More than pauses, I value the actual pace of a conversation. I have the tendency to talk rather fast, and “forcing” myself to slow down a bit is definitely a good thing. Keeping a steady rhythm, keeping a low voice even when others may be yelling at you, not to escalate things, all good ways to keep a relaxed and calm mood. Probably off topic but felt like sharing my 2 cents.
That’s a great point and for anyone who might be guilty of lots of “you knows” and “ums” slowing down and adding pauses helps in that department too!
Thanks for stopping by Gabriele!
More than pauses, I value the actual pace of a conversation. I have the tendency to talk rather fast, and “forcing” myself to slow down a bit is definitely a good thing. Keeping a steady rhythm, keeping a low voice even when others may be yelling at you, not to escalate things, all good ways to keep a relaxed and calm mood. Probably off topic but felt like sharing my 2 cents.
If you’re one of those that can’t keep your pie hole quiet for a few, say these two words to the other *Say more.* It’s not a pause although it’s better than interrupting.
Any opportunity to have the other party speak more and put us in a listening/understanding mode is a wonderful thing!
Thanks Steve!
Any opportunity to have the other party speak more and put us in a listening/understanding mode is a wonderful thing!
Thanks Steve!
when in doubt, don’t. pause for the cause. nice.
I think I’m going to cut and paste that one and keep it by my phone.
Thanks Rose!
when in doubt, don’t. pause for the cause. nice.
when in doubt, don’t. pause for the cause. nice.
I think I’m going to cut and paste that one and keep it by my phone.
Thanks Rose!
Great post, used to know experience land developer that made more money by just pausing, the person selling his property would immediately fill in the silence by dropping their price. He made thousands just by pausing, will try and remember.
Great post, used to know experience land developer that made more money by just pausing, the person selling his property would immediately fill in the silence by dropping their price. He made thousands just by pausing, will try and remember.
So true and I bet all of us have been the person giving that money away by filling that silence.
Thanks Joe!
So true and I bet all of us have been the person giving that money away by filling that silence.
Thanks Joe!
So true and I bet all of us have been the person giving that money away by filling that silence.
Thanks Joe!
Good stuff, Paul.
I’ve found it also adds credibility and trust. Too often, prospects wait for sales people to steamroll them over. By pausing, they realize you’re not trying to overpower them, that you welcome conversation/interaction and that you respect them enough to allow them to digest what you’re talking about.
Carpe phonum.
John Patrick
I believe what you just described is also know as a “breath of fresh air” John. Well stated!
Thanks!
I believe what you just described is also know as a “breath of fresh air” John. Well stated!
Thanks!
Being from Alabama I totally get #4 (smile) – great post! Did you know Abraham Lincoln was great at doing this – but with sending letters in response to someone but never actually sending them.
I had heard that about Lincoln. I wonder if if he would have done that with email because that’s an awesome quality.
Thanks Susan!
Being from Alabama I totally get #4 (smile) – great post! Did you know Abraham Lincoln was great at doing this – but with sending letters in response to someone but never actually sending them.
I had heard that about Lincoln. I wonder if if he would have done that with email because that’s an awesome quality.
Thanks Susan!
I’m guilty of not pausing from time to time (oh, I thought you were done, sorry)…”Especially” on the cell couldn’t be more true
I hear ya Steve. I’ve done that one mucho times 🙂
Thanks!
I’m guilty of not pausing from time to time (oh, I thought you were done, sorry)…”Especially” on the cell couldn’t be more true
I hear ya Steve. I’ve done that one mucho times 🙂
Thanks!
Have I ever told you how much I love poetry? even simple roses are red verses…lol That’s a hoot! And how many times have you not wanted to recite that little ditty when you needed to be listened to? And just think for each person we have not listened to has likely been thinking the same.
Ha . . . very true indeed! 🙂
Thanks Cheri!
Have I ever told you how much I love poetry? even simple roses are red verses…lol That’s a hoot! And how many times have you not wanted to recite that little ditty when you needed to be listened to? And just think for each person we have not listened to has likely been thinking the same.
Ha . . . very true indeed! 🙂
Thanks Cheri!
………………….thanks Paul, so true! Practice makes perfect right?
It sure does Cheri . . . we are all a work in progress.
It sure does Cheri . . . we are all a work in progress.
Paul, great post! I need to send this along to my sales team! Really enjoyed it especially the “Rose are Red…” phase! Thank you for sharing your sales wisdom.
You Rock Dude!!
Paul, great post! I need to send this along to my sales team! Really enjoyed it especially the “Rose are Red…” phase! Thank you for sharing your sales wisdom.
You Rock Dude!!