A speaker steps up to the podium and says “Good morning”. In a split second, you find yourself thinking “Don’t do it bro. Don’t reject our good morning” but you return fire with the obligatory “Good morning” along with the rest of the audience.
The speaker makes a disappointed face and you immediately start thinking “this dude’s gonna do it, please don’t do it dude”. He then says “Ah man, that was awful. Let’s try it again!” and then everyone says it louder as you mumble “tool” under your breath!
Sound familiar?
Here’s my issue with that overplayed move. I could set it up with the audience ahead of time to have everyone spit fire like Gene Simmons while throwing rock horns like the late Ronny James Dio while giving a hearty Homer Simspon “Woo Hoo” and that son of a bitch would still ask us to do it again!
It almost makes me want to get up and say “Fine . . . there’s obviously no pleasing you” and leave, but that’s the kind of epic sh*t that gets you face to face with a random drug test!
Truth be told, and all pointless sarcasm aside, there are better ways to start your presentation such as:
- A left hook or as some like to call it “A startling statement”. A startling statement is just that. It’s a statement designed to throw your audience off balance and get them immediately engaged in your message.
- An Intriguing Story: We’ve all heard about the power of stories and yet so few use them. Personally, I think anyone who has to deliver a presentation needs to practice the fine art of story telling.
- A Statistic, Study or Interesting Fact: One of the many lessons I learned when I worked for Dale Carnegie was to ask yourself a simple question “Who says so besides you?” When executed properly, this gives you instant credibility with your audience and they don’t feel inadequate because they didn’t say “Good morning” up to your high standards of goodmorningness.
And just for the heck of it, marry those things in with a funny or impactful graphic and you are well on your way to differentiating from the masses!
So enough about my presentation pet peeve . . . What kind of things cause you to disconnect with a speaker?
Inquiring Jedis want to know?
Paul Castain is the Vice President of Jedi Mastery at Castain Training Systems where he is the purveyor of ridiculous sales chops. Click here to bring your skills up a notch or three!
I don’t like it when presenters read their PowerPoint presentation with their back to the audience.
Good one Joe!
Thanks for stopping by and contributing!
I don’t like it when presenters read their PowerPoint presentation with their back to the audience.
Another faux pas is to thank this person or that group for inviting you to speak. Simply go into your speech by doing something that immediately gets their attention. Ask a question, jump off the stage and roam the audience while you begin, etc.
Interesting point Steve. I’ve heard a similar one about saying “Good morning”
Thanks!
Interesting point Steve. I’ve heard a similar one about saying “Good morning”
Thanks!
Another groaner: “You know, a funny thing happened to me on the way over here today, I was talking to…”
I’m with you Charles!
They might as start out with “And now a reading from the book of lame” 🙂
Thanks for stopping by!
A colleague started a speech at a very large industry gathering with the opening line; “I am J__ B_______. I am from Montana where men are men and sheep are scared.” The silence following that line was deafening. He and I quickly lost touch after that but I’d be willing to be that he hasn’t been asked back…
Sounds like a scene from the “How to offend your audience in 2 easy steps” instructional video.
That was ballsy.
Thanks Bob!
A colleague started a speech at a very large industry gathering with the opening line; “I am J__ B_______. I am from Montana where men are men and sheep are scared.” The silence following that line was deafening. He and I quickly lost touch after that but I’d be willing to be that he hasn’t been asked back…
Sounds like a scene from the “How to offend your audience in 2 easy steps” instructional video.
That was ballsy.
Thanks Bob!
Hmmm. Maybe next time I’ll jump up and shout out “Good morning!” to the speaker! Then I could get a compadre to shout the “you can do better than that!” response.
Or … get a bunch of people in on it and when the dreaded question is asked, we all hold up rating cards (9, 9.5, 10).
I feel a challenge coming on!
That’s beautiful John!
If I ever win the lottery, I’m going to finance a “Paul and John worldwide heckling tour” 🙂
Thanks buddy!
That’s beautiful John!
If I ever win the lottery, I’m going to finance a “Paul and John worldwide heckling tour” 🙂
Thanks buddy!
I immediately disconnect with a speaker that tries to reenergize a group by having them massage each others’ shoulders.
I also disengage if they say, “turn to your neighbor and say”…
I hear ya but it depends on how bad my shoulders feel that day 🙂
Seriously, its a tad odd and for people like me who don’t like people in their personal space, it gets really weird . . . especially if I’m sitting between two dudes.
Thanks for the input!
I wouldn’t mind a massage at all! It does irritate me when they do the turn to your neighbor and say hi though.
I bet you, like anything else, these things lend themselves to time, place and the ability of the presenter to play them off.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I immediately disconnect with a speaker that tries to reenergize a group by having them massage each others’ shoulders.
I also disengage if they say, “turn to your neighbor and say”…
I hear ya but it depends on how bad my shoulders feel that day 🙂
Seriously, its a tad odd and for people like me who don’t like people in their personal space, it gets really weird . . . especially if I’m sitting between two dudes.
Thanks for the input!
Monotone dialog. Especially when presenting statistical information (and I happen to love statistics). The absolute worse timing is when this presentator is scheduled right before an upcoming break. Make me laugh or make me cry but please don’t bore me to death!
Boy does that one hit home with me Cheri. AMEN!
Thanks for stopping by!
Monotone dialog. Especially when presenting statistical information (and I happen to love statistics). The absolute worse timing is when this presentator is scheduled right before an upcoming break. Make me laugh or make me cry but please don’t bore me to death!
Boy does that one hit home with me Cheri. AMEN!
Thanks for stopping by!
Brother Paul,
another fine query you’ve gotten us into. As someone who absolutely refuses, never, ever, to use a PowerPoint presentation when I ascend to the podium to proselytize the proletariat, here are a few of my ‘fun’ opening gambits as speaker-dude.
No podium at all, in fact the speech I gave in Atlanta whist high upon a step-ladder is still quite fondly thought-of by the poor souls in leery attendance that day.
The white knuckle death grip on the podium, followed by no sound as one opens one’s yap, followed by a finger gesticulating aimlessly, followed by one more clearing of the thorax, and finally — “that gentle audience, is called the pregnant pause.” Trust me, you got em off balance. Cause they were all praying mightily for you to succeed in getting just one word out!
and lastly, the one story that resonates in every speech I’ve ever been daft enough to offer — even tho it is 15 years old:
“Why is good marketing on the Internet like high school sex?
Because everybody THINKS everybody else is doing it. Every one wishes THEY were doing it. In point of fact, almost NO one is doing it. And those that are doing it, aren’t doing it well.”
Insert your own pregnant pauses and hold up a minute while you bring the house down,
Peace and Press ON!
A step ladder . . . that’s freakin awesome!
The “Pregnant Pause” definitely one for the playbook my friend!
Thanks for stopping by Kevin . . . always a pleasure!
Thanks, Kevin — that Internet marketing jokes may be 15 years old, but I’d never heard it before… so I’m gonna “borrow” it. 🙂
That makes two of us Bonnie! 🙂
That makes two of us Bonnie! 🙂
Brother Paul,
another fine query you’ve gotten us into. As someone who absolutely refuses, never, ever, to use a PowerPoint presentation when I ascend to the podium to proselytize the proletariat, here are a few of my ‘fun’ opening gambits as speaker-dude.
No podium at all, in fact the speech I gave in Atlanta whist high upon a step-ladder is still quite fondly thought-of by the poor souls in leery attendance that day.
The white knuckle death grip on the podium, followed by no sound as one opens one’s yap, followed by a finger gesticulating aimlessly, followed by one more clearing of the thorax, and finally — “that gentle audience, is called the pregnant pause.” Trust me, you got em off balance. Cause they were all praying mightily for you to succeed in getting just one word out!
and lastly, the one story that resonates in every speech I’ve ever been daft enough to offer — even tho it is 15 years old:
“Why is good marketing on the Internet like high school sex?
Because everybody THINKS everybody else is doing it. Every one wishes THEY were doing it. In point of fact, almost NO one is doing it. And those that are doing it, aren’t doing it well.”
Insert your own pregnant pauses and hold up a minute while you bring the house down,
Peace and Press ON!
A step ladder . . . that’s freakin awesome!
The “Pregnant Pause” definitely one for the playbook my friend!
Thanks for stopping by Kevin . . . always a pleasure!
many presenters start with ” before we begin to day ? I’d like to talk about…” hey dude .. just tell’em what your going to tell’em – them tell them … & wrap up with tell them what you told them … otr a better close
bob
So true Bob. Talk about losing them at “hello” huh?
Thanks!
many presenters start with ” before we begin to day ? I’d like to talk about…” hey dude .. just tell’em what your going to tell’em – them tell them … & wrap up with tell them what you told them … otr a better close
bob
Along the lines of what you said, Paul — speakers who think they have to get everyone “fired up” by the “I can’t hear you!” crap, and encouraging the audience to shout, jump up, give ANOTHER round of applause (MCs do this) because… what, they weren’t paying attention the first time?… all this stuff turns me off. I don’t mind raising my hand in response to a question, but I’m not interested in jumping out of my chair — hey, I just got comfortable, and sometimes I actually LIKE being lazy and low-energy, dammit! 🙂
Other pet peeves: “I know you can’t read this slide, but…” Reading their slides. Asking audience members a question and then interrupting them as they start to answer. And last but not least, having a really cool prize for some lucky audience member and NOT giving it to me! (I really wanted that new iPad I didn’t get at a recent seminar… sniff, sniff!)
Noted and agreed Bonnie and there are just so many other ways to get your audience fired up instead of playing these worn out plays.
I know what you mean about just getting comfortable. I attended something over the weekend and felt really lazy because I just found my comfy zone 🙂
Don’t get me started about not winning prizes . . . I never win those things but I did win $900 in a penny slot machine a few years ago in Vegas so its all good 🙂
Thanks for stopping by Bonnie!
Lack of passion, lack of passion, LACK OF PASSION!!!!!
Boy is that one the worst or what?
Thanks for stopping by!
Lack of passion, lack of passion, LACK OF PASSION!!!!!
Gene Simmons, Ronny James Dio, and Homer Simpson all in the same sentence. Bravo…
Thanks Steve . . . one of the many ways I try to aim to please 🙂
Rock on!
Very funny opening to your blog, and like always, some solid advice in your message. I hate the repeated good morning thing, but not as much as I really despise the “show of hands” thing. Almost as bad is opening up with an over rehearsed joke that has nothing to do with anything. When someone starts with a bad opener, it takes some pretty great content to get me tuned in.
I admire Craig Valentine as a professional speaker. I thought this audio link about creating an opening would be germaine to this thread. Enjoy. http://www.craigvalentine.com/create-an-instant-connection-with-your-customized-opening/
Is ridiculous sales chops anything like ludicrous speed in Space Balls?
Ha . . . nothing and I mean nothing compares to ludicrous speed 🙂
Great comment by the way!